SELLER: Donald Trump
LOCATION: Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, CA
PRICE: $12,000,000
SIZE: 10,442 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Excellent development opportunity in prime Beverly Hills Flats location. Over 31,000 Sq Ft flat lot that includes North/South facing, lighted tennis court, pool, spa, and beautiful grounds. In the best location, very close to the Beverly Hills Hotel.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Back in the summer of 2008 Your Mama received a covert communique from Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills who passed along the rumor that real estate’s biggest braggadocio Donald Trump had snatched up a center hall Colonial style mansion with a symmetrical front facade on Bev Hills’ tree-lined Roe-day-oh Drive. At the time, Your Mama was unable to confirm the purchase with a second source and before long our booze-addled brain plum forgot about the property altogether.

That is, until late last week when Our Fairy Godmother in Beverly Hills sent us another delishus missive regarding the Rodeo Drive residence indicating that Mister Trump had not only flipped the property back on the market with an asking price of $12,000,000, but that it also appeared to be in escrow after less than two weeks on the open market.

So this time, rather than have the information dissipate in thin air like smoke froma candle, we got on the horn with this tipster and that informant and wound up yakking with the nearly omniscient Lucy Spillerguts who verified that Mister Trump is indeed the owner of the property in question. Although Beverly Hills is unquestionably the perfect Los Angeles locale for Mister Trump to parade around in bejeweled cufflinks and a long limo-zeen with 24-carat gold accents, what no one we know seems to know is why Mister Trump bought this west coast outpost in the first place or why he’d sell it just a year later, albeit seemingly at a million dollar (or more) profit. What’s also unknown to Your Mama and our spider web of spies is whether Mister Trump ever occupied or even stepped foot onto this property.

Whatever the case, information we received–and records reveal–that an organization Miss Spillerguts swears on her Cross-Your-Heart is controlled by the man with the cotton-candy comb over bought the 10,442 square foot pile in July of 2008. Conveniently located just a short skip (or drunken stumble) from the Beverly Hills Hotel where a basic burger will suck twenty-five smackers out of your wallet, the 2-story, 10,442 square foot pile sits on flat a 31,000 square foot lot and includes 6 bedrooms, 6.5 poopers, 4 fireplaces and a double height entrance portico with 8 skinny columns.

Although the exterior of the house looks like it might be a 1930s relic of Hollywood’s golden age where some Tinseltown diva like Gloria Swanson or Tallulah Bankhead might have shacked up, listing information and county records both indicate the house was actually put up in 1981. That’s right, 1981. Formal living and dining rooms with hih-dee-us inlaid marble floors flank the center entrance hall which at the time Mister Trump purchased the place featured marble floors and balustrades, a double height ceiling, gilded moldings, and a curving, red-carpeted staircase that would make Scarlett O’Hara weep with envy. We can’t imagine that the Mister Trump, who has a thing for all things shiny, glitzy and ostentatious, would have changed a thing in this shiny, glitzy and ostentatious foyer but honestly chickens, since current listing photos are slim (meaning none of the interiors) we really don’t know if his team of nice gay decorators got up in there and gussy the place up Trump style with even more gilding, marble, crystal and faux-Rococo this and thats.

Listing information reveals that additional interior amenities include an art studio, den, family room with a built in bar, gym, library/study, media room, office, eat-in kitchen, sauna, and elevator. The massive master suite, according to information provided to Your Mama by Babbling Babette, includes dual poopers, closets and dressing rooms perfect for unhappily married couples do not care to run into each other while performing their morning and evening toilette. Behind the towering hedge at the front of the property, double drive gates open to a semi-circular driveway and an unfortunately front facing four car garage. In the back yard is the requisite swimming pool and spa, a patch of lawn for the canines to use as a terlit and a properly oriented north/south lighted tennis court.

Since the property is being marketed as an “excellent development opportunity” we presume Mister Trump didn’t do a whole lot to the property in the short time he owned it. What’s fassinatin‘ to Your Mama is that if this is such a excellent development opportunity why didn’t or doesn’t the world’s biggest show boating property developer develop the damn property hisself? But if we’ve said it once we’ve said it 49,000 times, who are we to question the real estate decisions of the rich, the famous and the rich and famous.