SELLER: Bobby Farrelly
LOCATION: Starboard Lane, Mashpee MA
PRICE: $3,400,000
SIZE: 2,701 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …Newer construction (2000) in Popponesset! Beautiful panoramic views of Nantucket Sound. Three decks provide Cape Cod Sun throughout the day. Wide plank walnut floors throughout the home. You will love the upstairs family room with custom stone fireplace, window seat and plenty of room for entertaining! Large fireplaced master suite with waterfront deck. Finished ceramic tiled basement with great storage and separate game room and full bath…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: The other day Your Mama received a covert communique from Vlad the Revealer indicating that filmmaker Bobby Farrelly–one half of the famous film making Farrelly Brothers–recently listed his Cape Cod crib with an asking price of $3,400,000.

The Misters Farrelly have carved out a lucrative if not particularly dignified niche for themselves on the silver screen using slapstick terlit humor and depicting decidedly inappropriate uses for bodily fluids. The children will recall the brothers Farrelly wrote, directed and produced comedic treasures such as There’s Something About Mary, Kingpin and Dumb and Dumber. They are, according to recent reports, currently hard at work on a revival of The Three Stooges starring Jim Carrey, Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro, a sure to be cinematic tour de force Your Mama can assure the children we will not see despite our own somewhat embarrassing appreciation of terlit humor.

Property records show that Mister Farrelly and his wife Nancy purchased the .29-acre waterfront lot in Mashpee, Mass in January of 1999 for $792,500. Listing information reveals the house was built in 2000, so Your Mama thinks it is safe to assume the Farrellys are the folks responsible for the architecturally wonky wood shingled Cape Cod style house that sits atop a rock revetment and offers panoramic views of the perfectly picturesque Nantucket Sound.

Listing information indicates the two story house measures 2,701 square feet and includes 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a ceramic tiled basement where there is a game room and a full bathroom. No offense to the Farrellys, but a ceramic tiled basement sounds horrid, more like the sort of place one might do an autopsy rather than push balls around on a felted table with skinny sticks.

Immediately upon entering the front door, which opens directly into the window wrapped living/dining room, one is confronted with the unpleasantly cliche nautical day-core that has been perpetrated on every inch of this house. If it is not white, a shade of blue or made of wood, it simply does not belong in the self-consciously casual decorative scheme of the Farrelly’s seaside getaway. Listen puppies, we love a seaside house as much as the next person, and we’re certainly no opposed to referencing geographic location with color, but surely it’s possible to do up a house at the beach without conforming to this narrow notion of what constitutes beach house day-core.

None the less, any buyer is not buying the cohesive but borring day-core and despite the nerve-wracking front facade with that upsetting pair of out of scale oval windows flanking the French doors on the second level, there are plenty of features about the house that can be appreciated such as the beauteous walnut wood floors that have been laid down throughout the house, the three fireplaces which take the misty chill off early summer mornings, the manner in which the main living spaces open up to the water side of the house and the second floor family room which features a stone fireplace, a small water view balcony just large enough for a couple of people to stand and smoke a late night doobie, and a lavishly long window seat built in below a long wall of paned windows looking out over what we’re positive is a mesmerizing vista.

The grounds include off street parking for 6 cars, three decks, a professionally landscaped yard with decorative lighting and a good sized patch of lawn and access to a path that leads to a sandy beach.

Property records indicate the Farrellys also own a 4 bedroom and 3 bathroom home at nearby Duxbury, Mass as well as property in Chilmark on Martha’s Vineyard which they purchased in November of 2003 $2,014,706. Clearly the Farrelly family does not like to stray too far from home.