SELLER: Bob Weinstein
LOCATION: Central Park West, New York, NY
PRICE: $29,750,000
SIZE: 6,500 square feet (approximately), 6 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …A grand stairway leads to six large bedrooms, seven and one-half bathrooms, a paneled library, huge family room, formal dining room, superb kitchen, laundry room, two terraces, three fireplaces and four exposures. The numerous custom details include three zoned air conditioning and Crestron system for sound and lighting…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: After all the mishegoss yesterday afternoon about Shorty and Mousey Cruise snatching up a townhouse in the West Village, Your Mama is in a New York state of mind so we’re going to piggy back on real estate gossip Max Abeleson’s recent report regarding movie producer Bob Weinstein listing his big digs at the fabled, fabulous, tri-towered and tri-lobbied Beresford building that architect Emory Roth designed in 1929 to lord over the high-priced corner of Central Park West and West 81st Street.

Some of the children will recall that just a couple of short weeks ago young Mister Abelson snitched that Bob Weinstein quietly heaved his 14 room dooplex on the market with an asking price of $34,000,000. Apparently there were no deep pocketed buyers at that figure because yesterday Mister Weintstein’s Upper West Side sprawler hit the open market with a significantly lower but still blistering asking price of $29,750,000.

Records and reports reveal Mister Weinstein–whose company is much rumored be in a financial freefallpurchased the (approximately) 6,500 square foot dooplex in September of 2004 for a flat $20,000,000. Although the bulk of the apartment (and both of the terraces) sits on the upper level, the main living areas are on the lower level. There are beautifully done herringbone wood floors throughout the main floor which includes a long foyer with a gently curving stair case, a “coat room” as large as some studio apartments, a living room with fireplace and an adjacent library where the guest pooper and wet bar are located. Behind the foyer is a large playroom and terlit for the kiddies and a barely decorated dining room sits between the foyer and the vaguely Euro-Parisian style eat in kitchen with white cabinets and what appears to be Delft tile crawling up all the walls. A back stair case tucked behind the stove leads to a large laundry room and staff bedroom which not only has its own pooper but will actually accommodate a full sized mattress.

Upstairs a second, book shelf lined library (that’s right children, a second library) includes a fireplace and gives access to the smaller of the dooplex’s two terraces. Three large family bedrooms all feature private poopers and a fourth somewhat smaller bedroom/office appears to be lined with book shelves. A well positioned half bathroom in the hallway means not having to trek through a bedroom when nature makes its inevitable call while being psychically and dee-lishusly brutalized by re-runs of The Real Housewives of New Jersey in the upstairs library.

The master suite is entered through an entrance gallery that directs traffic into the vast bedroom or into the master bath. The bedroom stretches nearly 30 feet long with a third fireplace and provides access to the larger of the two terraces. It’s a bit of a shame that the dooplex’s largest terrace is only accessible through the master bedroom because who wants to pay twenty or thirty million clams for an apartment only to have to drag guests through the master bedroom when they come over to sip gin and tonics and watch the sun set over New Jersey? The children will also not that the floor plan does not indicate a terlit (or bee-day) in the master bathroom, however we can all be assured that that important apparatus was only forgotten on the floor plan and not in real life. Between the bedroom and bathroom is a large dressing room with built in cabinetry and two happy marriage making walk in closets. One of Your Mama’s many unrequested recommendations for a drama-free household is to not share closet space with your spouse. Everyone needs a little private space of their own.

Other notable features include the large pantry off the upstairs laundry room, the three zone air conditioning and the Crestron system that controls lighting and audio. The main drawback, and it’s a biggie for an apartment of this cost, is that the unit faces primarily south…good for the light but not so good for views of Central Park which can only be seen obliquely and over the roof top of the Museum of Natural History. Don’t misunderstand Your Mama, the view is still quite spectacular, but is it thirty million dollars magnificent? We’ll let you and prospective buyers be the judge of that. A second bugaboo is the $10,076 per month maintenance charges which might be pocket change to Richie Rich types, but it’s still a lot of dough to cough up each month in addition to whatever mortgage might be obtained.

Even after selling his dooplex at the Beresford, Mister Weinstein will still be rich with residential real estate. Property records and previous reports indicate that in May of 2009 Mister and Missus Weinstein paid $15,000,000 for a 4-floor townhouse on West 70th Street, in April of 2008 he forked over $1,050,000 for a ground floor one bedroom hideaway on West 67th Street and in January of 2005 he plunked down three million clams for a 2,914 square foot downtown spread in the very same Astor Place building where Mister Max Abelson’s baby-faced boss-manJared Kushner–who is, incidentally, afianced to Ivanka Trump–recently scooped up a $3,225,000 crib.

Other famous shareholders at the Beresford include the not so funny anymore Jerry Seinfeld and his baby factory wifey Jessica, former foot-in-her-mouth Cosmopolitan queen bee Helen Gurley Brown, volatile tennis ace John McEnroe, fancy furrier Dennis Basso, wildly rich Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit, legendary film director Sidney Lumet, mustachioed exposé journalist John Stossel and Academy Award winning actress Glenn Close who in May of 2005 paid $6,025,000 for a two-bedroom, two-terraced penthouse apartment that once belonged to closeted movie stud Rock Hudson.