SELLER: Ruth Buzzi
LOCATION: Malaga Road, Los Angeles, CA
SIZE: 2,893 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: This is the best buy in the Hollywood Hills today! Magnificent location; Poised on a large lot with unobstructed views on a private cul–de-sac street in highly sought after “Outpost Estates,” just minutes away from everything! Hardwood floors, 2 fireplaces, high ceilings, large decks perfect for outdoor entertaining, balconies, and a large master with walk-in closet.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Thanks to an informant we’ll call Lenny Letitfly Your Mama has learned that treasured cackle queen Ruth Buzzi has done sold her long time residence in the Outpost Estates area of Los Angeles. Property records show Mizz Buzzi and her man-huzband Kent Perkins took in $1,021,000 when they sold their Malaga Road residence in late June of 2009.
The naughty, bawdy and horse-toothed Miz Buzzi, for all you children too young to remember, was one of the high-lariously funny high priestesses of Rowan & Martin’s Laugh In back in the late 1960 and 70s. While Mizz Buzzi appeared regularly as a number of characters on Laugh In, her most famous creation was probably Gladys Ormphby, a dumpy, dowdy, crotchety, park bench sitting, gunny sack dress wearing and hair net donning old woman who used her handbag to pummel dirty old men who made sexually suggestive advances. Mizz Buzzi went on to appear in any number of television programs, films and variety shows including The Lost Saucer, The Sonny and Cher Show, Freaky Friday, Days of Our Lives, The Love Boat (natch), Sheep in the Big City, Sesame Street, and the now defunct but wonderfully wacky daytime draw-muh Passions.
Property records reveal that Mizz Buzzi bought the property in the summer of our Bicentennial (June of 1976) for an unknown amount of money. However, Mister Kent Perkins, who is Mizz Buzzi’s lucky huzband, reveals that the house was actually bought in 1968 while Mizz Buzzi was still working her magic on Laugh In. Listing information shows the flesh pink and tiled roofed Mediterranean was built in 1937, measures 2,893 square feet and includes three bedrooms and 3 poopers including a master bedroom with horrific wall to wall carpeting, a small office alcove, a private terlit and a large walk-in closet with built-in cabinetry.
The boxy front façade of the house is, without question, tired and outdated and the garage door makes Your Mama shudder with fear but there is nothing here that can’t be made acceptable without a little imagination, money, a smart architect and a skilled landscaper who knows how to properly do up the slimmest of front yards. We already know a good number of you chickens are going to whine and complain that this house sits too damn close to the road but we do not want to hear it because this is how it’s done in many (if not most) areas of the Hollywood Hills where due to geography there simply isn’t room to set houses way back off the street. Besides, it’s not like Malaga Road is some kind of freeway with a constant flow of horn honking traffic.
Interior rooms of the Mizz Buzzi’s bullpen include a sunken, nicely sized and unnecessarily carpeted living room with a fireplace that leads to an oddly shaped and a wood floored room that appear to Your Mama like it was haphazardly tacked on to the back of the house and fitted with a built in wet bar that will probably please the alcoholics among us but that Your Mama recommends be ripped out immediately. A discreet nook for mixing cocktails is perfectly fine–fantastic even because lahrd knows we love a drinky poo–but we find these kind of behemoth built in bars where stools can be bellied up to the counter to be vulgar. Who needs to advertise their drinking habits? If we wanted to live in a damn bar, we’d live in a bar.
Anyhoo, beyond the “bar” is the dining room which gives way to a breakfast room where the windows are enslaved by white wrought iron bars and punished by a distressing scrap of lace drapery that covers only the bottom third of the window and serves absolutely no purpose that we can imagine. Through the breakfast room is the kitchen that appears to retain the well worn hexagonal saltillo tiles (and which we’d keep), some 1970s cabinetry that has been painted white in an unsuccessful effort to minimize their visual impact, a range that is much older than Your Mama and, rather unexpectedly, a new-fangled stainless steel double drawer dishwasher. Neither Your Mama, the Dr. Cooter nor our wild-eyed house gurl Svetlana are fans of the double drawer dishwasher but that is another gripe for another day puppies and we simply do not have the time or energy to delve into the grievous error that is the ill-placed panel of glass brick behind the range. This room will need to be gutted. We do, however, appreciate that there is an actual laundry room tucked back behind the cookery.
While there does appear to be a bit of terraced yard below the house, the main outdoor space is the deck that wraps around the lower level. Sadly, it appears that the deck can be accessed through that awful “bar” room, a situation that requires swift remedy by the new owner whom records reveal is a man named Daniel Dubiecki who has produced many commercials as well as a number of films including Thank You for Smoking and the Oscar winning teen pregnancy comedy Juno.
Miz Buzzi and her biznesman man-mate Kent Perkins currently live in Texas where records show they own a 5 bedroom and 5 bathroom house in a banal development in Southlake as well as a number of properties in teeny-tiny Aledo.