SELLER: Brad Grey
LOCATION: Monaco Drive, Pacific Palisades, CA
PRICE: $29,990,000
SIZE: 13,143 square feet, 7 bedrooms 12 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: On 2 flat acres of serene & park-like grounds w/ a unique pond rests this gated & private Pacific Palisades 6 bedroom/10.5 bth, custom built estate. 3 levels, superior finishes & world class architecture create a warm & inviting atmosphere, perfect for entertaining or raising a family. 2-story living rm, 2 offices, theater, gym, billiard/game room. Master suite w/ sitting area & fpl, wet bar, his & her baths & closets, plus a deck overlooking the gardens, tennis court, outdoor kitchen & pool/spa.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday Your Mama floated a tidbit about a real estate rumor we’d been hearing that a major multi-parcel property in Pacific Palisades.

As it turns out, the 2-ish acre estate–owned by super producer Brad Grey and his soon to be ex-wifey Jill–hit the open market yesterday with an eye-popping asking price of $29,990,000.

The diminutive, powerful, Bronx born and not always well-liked Mister Grey is currently the CEO of Paramount and has had his wildly successful, two Emmy winning and 15 additional Emmy nominated hands on such tee-vee programs and films as The Sopranos, Real Time with Bill Maher, Running With Scissors, The Departed, Just Shoot Me, Politically Incorrect, News Radio, The Larry Sanders Show, The Wedding Singer, The Cable Guy, and It’s Garry Shandling’s Show, just to name a few.

As best as Your Mama can figure and based on property records, Mister Grey picked up the first of the property’s four lots in in May of 1997 when he paid $2,000,000 for a bare piece of land on Monaco Drive in the ritzy Riviera area of Pacific Palisades. In December of 1997, records show he spent an undisclosed amount of money for the two adjacent parcels on which the house, the swimming pool and the tennis court sit. Then, in October of 2001, he dumped $2,300,000 for the lavishly landscaped corner property given almost entirely over to a large pond filled with lily pads and couple of mean ol‘ swans. Word to the wise, don’t mess with swans, they look elegant, but they can be as violent as a badger in a hen house.

Listing information and prop records show the meant to be Arts and Crafts style residence was built in the late 1990s and measures 13,143 square feet. Listing information states there are 6 bedrooms and 10.5 bathrooms while prop records indicate there are 7 bedrooms and 12 bathrooms. Either way, there are enough poopers to keep at least one minimum wage gurl employed full time. Your Mama hopes the gurl has benefits because she will most surely get the Carpal Tunnel from shaking the Comet can and swirling the terlit brush all damn day every damn day in this house of too many terlits.

The Grey estate is surrounded by a towering hedge and the motorized gates open to a wide tree-shaded driveway that leads to a Porte-cochere. Porte-cochere’s are nice for stepping out of the Maybach during inclement weather, but let’s be honest chickens, there is rarely anything but sunshine in the south of California so this Porte-cochere is really just an unnecessary architectural folly. Anyhoo, from the P.C., a very long wisteria covered pergola leads to the Arts and Crafts style front doors which open to an expansive entrance hall with some of the lowest looking ceilings and glossiest wood floors Your Mama has ever seen in the foyyay of a house with an eight-figure asking price.

The highly polished floors–which surely keep another gurl busy day in and day out with a swiffer and a can of Pledge–continue into the double height, window wrapped formal living room as well as the formal dining room which both overlook the gardens and the backyard recreation areas. The children will note this house has been staged so there’s really no point in discussing those white dining room chairs or the suite of white upholstered sofas and chairs in the living room that pop up in just about every staged home in Los Angeles with an asking price over three million dollars.

The less formal quarters include an expansive family room (with more of the shiny floors) and a breakfast area with pastoral views of the rolling lawn that costs more to maintain each year than most of the children earn in a single year. The kitchen has been updated and upgraded and includes sleek white Euro style cabinets and some sleek brown Euro style cabinets too. At first glance, the kitchen appears a bit small for a house of this magnitude but upon reflection it’s probably the right size. Anything smaller would have you up the chef’s butt when you were looking for an ice cream sandwich but anything larger might more like a banquet hall kitchen than a private home.

Other rooms, according to listing information include a den (with what appears to be two built in stainless steel humidors), paneled library/study warmed by one of the homes four fireplaces, a media room, lanai (whatever that is), mirrored gym, billiard/game room accessed by a stunning spiral staircase, 2 offices, large home theater with a perplexingly complicated coffered ceiling and a wine cellar that will make the boozehounds sweat with anticipation.

The master suite, as one would expect in a house of this price and size, includes a sitting room with a fireplace, access to a second floor terrace, a wet bar, dual walk in closets and dual bathrooms,one done up for a female and one did over for in a more masculine style.

The sprawling park like grounds, watched by a camera security system, includes a modest but adequately sized swimming pool, spa, large stone terraces for sunbathing, an outdoor kitchen for grillin and chillin, a sunken tennis court ringed by wisteria laden pergolas, at least two football field sized lawn areas, a motor court with an attached 3-car garage and, of course, the capacious pond, a landscaping luxury only the rich can afford.

If the children will put on their thinking caps they will recall that Jennleck or Benagar (or whatever the gossip glossies call Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner) recently spent $17,550,000 on the Pacific Palisades compound of producer Brian Grazer on N. San Remo Drive, Mister Grey’s asking price of $29,900,000 seems just a wee bit optimistic, don’t it? But then again, what do we know? Nuthin‘, that’s what.

It was only in late April of 2009 that Your Mama revealed that Mister Grey spent a rumored twenty plus million clams for a newly built 0ff-market mansion in Bel Air that happens to sit right up next door to poor Nic Cage’s real estate White Elephant on Copa de Oro Road. It’s unclear to Your Mama whether Mister Grey or the ex-Mrs Grey will reside here. Prop records also reveal that Mister Grey owns an ocean front hideaway on Broad Beach Road in Malee-boo.

Mister and Mrs. Grey’s nearby neighbors include the wildly rich (but not particularly funny) comedian Adam Sander, who bought his a 7 bedroom and 14 terlit crib in November of 2004 from the dee-voon Goldie Hawn and her hunky man-mate Kurt Russell. Apparently Mister Sandler did not feel his 12,860 square foot beast was quite large enough because in September of 2008, he forked over $3,350,000 for the 3 bedroom and 3 bathroom house next door.