You will be redirected back to your article in seconds

William Monahan’s Modest Mulholland Drive House

SELLER: William Monahan
LOCATION: Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,350,000
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Located up a long gated driveway, this Mid-Century Contemporary remodeled home has an open feeling with spectacular city light views and mountain vistas from all the main room. An over sized glass door pivots open to welcome you into big open spaces including an exquisite gourmet kitchen, family room, romantic master suite with spa like bath, with 2 additional bedrooms, and bonus rooms. There are 4 fireplaces, pool, spa and outdoor entertaining areas. Mature landscaping & 5 car parking.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday Your Mama briefly discussed some real estate rumors (see item #4) swirling around the flip house of uber agent Kevin Hoo-vain which occupies a prime piece of dirt right up behind the thirty million dollar Tom and Katie Crooz mansion on Calle Vista Drive in the Bev Hills. Today we’re going to continue in that living near Mister Crooz vein and discuss another house that sits a little too close to a Crooz crib for Your Mama’s comfort. This time it’s Oscar winning writer William Monhan’s Mulholland Drive domicile which sits up a long, gorgeous, gated and curving celebrity style driveway just a couple hundred yards (as the crow flies) from that mysterious, heavily fortified and recently rehabbed compound at the end of Torreyson Drive that is rumored and whispered to be some sort of Tom Crooz financed Scientology retreat.

Mister Monahan, formerly a journalist and an editor for the now defunct sassy and satirical Spy magazine, made a meteoric rise to the top of the Hollywood heap when only his second script–for Martin Scorcese’s lauded and applauded The Departed–earned him one of those coveted sex toy shaped gold statues known as an Oscar. Ever since then Mister Monahan’s much in demand fingers have be a-flyin‘ across his keyboard writing up screenplays for a couple of upcoming Ridley Scott extravaganzas as well as the latest installment of the Jurassic Park franchise.

Anyhoo, in December of 2006, around about the time that Mister Monahan was cashing some of his prodigious paychecks for penning The Departed, property records show that he and his wifey Wendy forked over $2,200,000 to purchase their 3 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom house on Mulholland Drive that overlooks the San Fernando Valley. Now that the couple is rolling in post-Oscar Benjamins, they’ve recently listed the property for sale with an asking price of $2,350,000, a number that Your Mama’s bejeweled abacus reveals will have them barely breaking financially even after the real estate people are paid their fat fees.

Assessor records show that the Monahan’s not-a-mansion measures in at a modest 2,510 square feet. However, the records also show the house contains only 1 bedroom and 2 bathrooms, so Your Mama is a wee bit skeptical about that square footage number being accurate.

Your Mama confesses that although it would scare the bejeezis out of us to live too close to Mister Crooz and his small army of Scientology aficionados, generally speaking we do like this house even if the road noise from Mulholland Drive is probably annoying. We don’t find the exterior to be any great shakes architecturally, but we are sincerely appreciative of the high beamed ceilings, floor to ceiling glazing and the easy-going manner in which the house lends itself to classic Caleefornia indoor/outdoor living.

Although the aesthetic jury is out still on all that slate flooring that has been laid down throughout the house (it’s simply too early to bother the decorating divas), we do like the somewhat organic flavor of the interior spaces and we’re swooning with envy over all the open shelving throughout the house. True confession: Your Mama has a Jeff Lewis-like anal retentive streak which has turned meticulously lining up knick knacks, keepsakes and soup cans into a bit of a bizarre hobby. Even our bejeweled abacus can’t calculate how many hours we’ve spent arranging and rearranging the shelves in our rather large walk in pantry so that all the like minded foods are grouped together, lined up with every price tag removed and facing forward like dutiful North Korean soldiers.

We hate the black counter tops but otherwise the kitchen is nicely renovated and we love how the stove and the microwave have been inserted directly into the wall. The kitchen is open to the strangely shaped dining room which we enjoy because it forcefully directs the eyeballs out towards the long view over the San Fenando Valley and away from that awful fireplace wall. Any sensible person would be perturbed and disturbed by the treatment of the fireplace surround (slate running running up from the floor!) and that sorry little television set mounted above it is a decorating crime of the highest magnitude. Quite frankly, given that there are three other fireplaces in the house, Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter would quickly call the contractor to close this one and if we had the really big bucks we’d then run out to Matthew Marks and snatch up a hideously expensive and brightly colored Terry Winters painting like this to work against all the muted organic color in the kitchen and on the floor.

To be honest, we’re a little perplexed by the day-core we see in the photos. Has this place been staged? Has someone simply pared down the Monahan’s belongings to the barest essentials? Are the Monahans obsessed with white furniture? Whose idea was all that white furniture anyway?As the children know, Your Mama loves us a white slip covered sofa if it’s used in a not very Shabby Chic sort of way, but too much of a good thing is just too much of a good thing and there’s just too much white slip covered furniture in here to be a good thing.

And that Saarinen table in the master bedroom? Uh. No. Don’t get Your Mama wrong. We love a Saarinen table as much as the next person. In fact, we’re sitting at one as we type. But putting that itty bitty one in front of the big beautiful windows only makes the plump proportions of the master bedroom look like a mid-priced hotel room in Palm Springs. Your Mama’s decorating rule #273: A diminutive breakfast table–even if it is an everlasting icon of furniture design–has no place in a master bedroom. Ever. Breakfast tables are for breakfast rooms.

We’re totally appreciative that a small swimming pool has been tucked into the hillside. However we’re tremendously troubled by the haphazard stacked stone wall that forms the back edge which looks rather jagged and dangerous for anyone who might choose to take a quick dip in the cool waters while boozed up during a back yard barbecue, which for better or worse (and we hope the former) happens fairly frequently amongst the alcoholic beverage luvin‘ tipplers in Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter’s thirsty crew.

Certainly Your Mama hasn’t any notion where Mister and Missus Monahan will be moving, but it’s not such a stretch to imagine that they’re headed to a new nest commensurate with his elevated stature among the elite folks who ply their trade in Hollywood’s Bizness of Show.

More Dirt

  • Rob Cohen House

    ‘Mahogany’ Producer Rob Cohen Loses a Bit on Sale of Hidden Hills Home

    After ten months on the market at steadily declining asking prices, long-time Hollywood hypenate Rob Cohen, director of the first installment of the money-minting “Fast and Furious” franchise in 2001 and producer of several iconic 1970s films including “Mahogany” and “The Wiz,” sold his home in guard-gated, celebrity-filled and equestrian-oriented Hidden Hills, Calif., for $3.2 [...]

  • Lily Collins Condo

    Lily Collins Quickly Lands Buyer at West Hollywood’s Sierra Towers

    Actress, model and showbiz scion Lily Collins, daughter of English music legend Phil Collins, and his American second ex-wife, antiques dealer Jill Tavelman, has landed a buyer for her former condominium at the famously celebrified Sierra Towers complex in West Hollywood, California. Last listed at $2.995 million, the condo first popped up for sale in [...]

  • Niecy Nash House

    Niecy Nash Upgrades in SoCal’s Suburban Bell Canyon (EXCLUSIVE)

    “Claws” star Niecy Nash has upgraded her suburban Southern California residential circumstances with the just over $2 million purchase of a spacious Mediterranean residence about thirty-some miles northwest of downtown Los Angeles in the relatively unsung and guard-gated Bell Canyon enclave that’s discretely tucked into the rugged foothills just north of the notoriously celebrity-packed Hidden [...]

  • Kristin Wiig House

    Kristen Wiig Gets Just Over Asking for Mid-Century Home Above L.A.'s Silver Lake

    After less than two months on the market and some serious interest from at least a couple of deep-pocketed potential buyers, comedian and actress Kristen Wiig has sold her painstakingly updated and restored mid-century modern micro-compound above Los Angeles’s Silver Lake Reservoir for $5.225 million. Lucky for the former “Saturday Night Live” star, set to [...]

  • Marti Noxon House

    ‘Sharp Objects’ Creator Marti Noxon Flips Mid-Century Ranch House in Studio City

    It would seem television powerhouse Marti Noxon needs a side-hustle about as much as an elephant needs a SCUBA suit. The busy as a beaver creator of the thrice Emmy-nominated 2018 limited series “Sharp Objects,” starring Emmy nominees Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson, already co-owns an artisanal grain mill in Pasadena and now she can [...]

  • Nate Berkus House

    Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent List Photogenic Mansion in L.A.'s Hancock Park

    Married interior decorators and reality TV co-hosts Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent have their fastidiously updated and fashionably photogenic mansion in L.A.’s historic and historically hoity-toity Hancock Park neighborhood up for sale at $13.795 million. The telegenic couple, co-hosts of the aspirational home improvement and design series “Nate & Jeremiah by Design” on TLC, paid [...]

  • Yoshiki Buys Studio City Mansion

    Yoshiki Picks Secluded Spread Near Studio City (EXCLUSIVE)

    Mononymic Japanese rock star and record producer Yoshiki, an accomplished classical composer best known as the co-founder and drummer of the speed metal band X Japan — they sold out Madison Square Garden in 2014, has expanded his SoCal real estate holdings with the almost $3.4 million purchase of a secluded 1.6-acre spread in the [...]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content