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BUYER: Scarlett Johansson
LOCATION: East 53rd Street, New York, NY
PRICE: $2,100,000
SIZE: 1,270 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Triple Mint Penthouse designed by architect/owner with the most discriminating taste! Elegant & simple with clean lines, top of line finishes and extraordinary chef’s kitchen. In addition, both bathrooms are exceptionally renovated with stone and wood. The terrace s large and beautifully landscaped and features open city views. Additionally, there is a lovely greenhouse off the bedroom. Superb closets & much more!

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Blond, bee-yootee-full and bee stung lipped ack-tress Scarlett Johansson has been keeping her publicists bizzy as beavers lately. Not only did the buxom babe recently release a mostly well received album of Tom Waits covers (Anywhere I Lay My Head), she’s got several films to promote and she’s now speaking publicly about her betrothal to Canadian-born beau-hunk ack-tor (and Alanis Morrisette ex-fiancé) Ryan Reynolds. On top of all that she’s been keeping the real estate gossips on their toes as well.

Although property records reveal that Miss Johansson still owns a 5th floor condominium at the Hollywood Versailles apartment tower in West Hollywood that she bought back in June of 2003 for $373,000, the 4-time Golden Globe nom-a-nee (always a bridesmaid…) spent $7,000,000 in May of 2007 for a 7 bedroom and 7 bathroom Mediterranean mini-manse on Senalda Road in the hills above Hollywood. About the same time all the gossips whispered and reported that Miss Johansson was on the prowl for a Manhattan penthouse because her New York neighbors were constantly complaining that her incessant cigarette smoking was a serious drag.

Fast forward to April of 2008 when Mister Max Abelson, who skillfully pens the New York Observer’s Manhattan Transfers column, revealed that young Miss Johansson did what virtually no other New Yorker has done for many years…beehawtcha sold her TriBeCa loft at 66 Leonard Street for $52,000 less than the $1,950,000 she paid for the place in January of 2006. Less! Who does that in New York City? Someone in a hurry to unload a place, that’s who.

Today Mister Abelson continues his ScarJo scoopage and reports that all signs point towards Miss Johansson forking over $2,100,000 for a 2 bedroom and 2 bathroom penthouse pied a terre in a non-descript full service post-war building on Midtown Manhattan’s East 53rd Street. Although Miss Johansson’s name does not appear on the deed, the purchasing trust is operated by her mother and shows a billing address in Hollywood identical to the one that appears on the deed for her old apartment on Leonard Street. So while we can’t say that Miss Johansson is the buyer with 100% certitude, where there’s real estate smoke, there’s often fire, you know what we’re sayin‘?

According to listing information, the apartment measures 1,270 square feet and was designed an renovated by it’s previous architect owner. The interiors are all creamy beige and chocolate brown with Carrara marble counter tops. All very smart and pulled together if a little lacking in color for our taste. And P.S. that gold framed mirror in the dining room isn’t working.

What we do like is the terrace off the living room which makes a perfect spot for whittling away long afternoons with a pitcher of gin and tonics and a stack of gossip glossies and later gazing at the glittering lights of the city. We imagine Miss Johansson will find it an excellent spot to quietly contemplate her success and suck down a cigarette or four or five, hopefully without her neighbors fretting over the effects of second hand smoke.

Listing information also indicates that there is a “lovely greenhouse” located off the master bedroom. This might sound like a nice feature to someone who has ever had the misfortune or extreme discomfort to sit in one of these all-glass hot boxes on a sticky hot August day. Listen puppies, you can air condition the shit out of these “greenhouses” and you can put up shades that thwart the stinging rays of the blistering sun, but they’re still glass boxes that heat up like a damn oven in the summer and rarely climb to above cool on the thermostat in the winter. Your Mama says no thank you to terraces converted to “greenhouses.” The only people Your Mama knows who actually appreciate their Manhattan “greenhouses” are people who own snakes and/or grow their own ganja. We don’t know if Miss Johansson has an affinity for either of those things but if she doesn’t Your Mama imagines that “greenhouse” will be nuthin‘ more than wasted square footage where she’ll stash all the free shit celebrities are sent by designers desperate to have their stuff on photographed on famous folks.

Only time will tell if the soon to be Mrs. Reynolds will keep this modest Manhattan hideaway or if she and the huzband will soon be looking for a larger and more family friendly crib.