UPDATE: Michael Jackson

Let Your Mama offer a word to the real estate wise: Get on the horn right away to the Biltmore or the Bacara iffin you want to be standing in the front row of the scheduled and fast approaching May 14 foreclosure auction of (literally) fading pop icon Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. Fox 411 gossip columnist Roger Friedman recently reported that a few big bucks bidders are already circling with their cashier’s checks in hand and Your Mama thinks that hotel rooms–good hotel rooms– may be difficult to come by.

Expect a media madhouse on the steps of the Santa Barbara County Courthouse when the tattered, torn and tossed aside 2,900 acre ranch is sold to the highest bidder and Mister Jackson’s sad and embarrassing Santa Ynez Valley real estate woes come to their tawdry and inevitable end.

Interested parties are said to include “some form of the original loan holder Fortress Investments” as well as a Virginia based mortgage company who was approached earlier this year by now nixed Jackson manager/mouth piece Raymone Bain.

Meanwhile, where’s Mister Jackson?

Sad. Sad. Sad. As Your Mama’s good pal Virginia Slim says, “This can only end in tears.” But at least it will end children, at least it will end.

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