Not only is Your Mama is down for the count today with some strange symptoms of sick like sore eyeballs, sensitive skin, tingly innards and a mushy brain, one of our neighbors has been running a LOUD and obnoxious machine all damn morning that has us ready to slit our own (rather sore) throat. So bear with us children as we try to bring y’all a little Thursday afternoon mish mash.

On Tuesday, Your Mama discussed a perfectly loverly London townhouse that our jet-setting tipster with the distinguished Greek surname swore up and down is owned by a U.S. born former model turned boobalicious bizness woman named Caprice Bourret. At the time, Your Mama was unable to confirm with 100% certainty that the contemporary casa is in fact owned (and being sold) by the surgically enhanced Miss Boo-ray.

Thanks to clarifying communiques received from several children, we’ve learned that Miss Boo-ray actually invited the MTV Cribs cameras into her house which clearly shows that the house we discussed does indeed belong to Caprice Bourret.

Yesterday Your Mama discussed the hew-mongous Hamptons habitat listed for sale by former Lehman Brothers COO and president Joseph Gregory with a stunning $32,500,000 asking price. When Your Mama sat down to pen our little post we were ignorant as to the amount of money Mister and Missus Gregory paid for their Surfside Drive mansion which sits on 2.5 acres of prime ocean front property in super swanky Bridgehampton, NY. Now, thanks to a gabby gal we’ll call Bridgehampton Betty, we do.

Property records provided to us by Bridgehampton Betty clearly reveal that Mister and Missus Gregory forked over $19,000,000 for the 8 bedroom and 8.5 bathroom ocean front mansion in January of 2007. Yes children, nineteen million clams.

A few flicks of the beads on our bejeweled abacus reveals that the Gregorys and their pee-pole honestly think their house has increased in value by a whopping $13,500,000 in less than two years. Pleeze.

Your Mama does not begrudge anyone a profit on their real estate investments, but this, children, is reedonkulous. Perhaps we can’t blame the unemployed Mister Gregory for trying to turn a 10+ million dollar profit flipping this posh property, but seriously folks, what mo-ron would pay $32,500,000 for a house that 18 months ago sold for $19,000,000? In this market? Your Mama hates to sound like a Chicken Little, but we sorta think the salad days of short term monster-sized real estate gains are over, even in the rarefied market of the hoity toity Hamptons.

Your Mama hears from a well connected source in Beverly Hills that recently released from the clink soft porn producer Joe Francis is sniffing around the better zip codes of Los Angeles for a new house and that he’s got his eye on a twenty million dollar place called La Villa Serena.

We’re not sure why the filthy rich Girls Gone Wild guy would want or need a new house in LaLa Land given that he already owns a massive manse on Bel Air Place right next door to legendary Hollywood hottie Zsa Zsa Gabor. Maybe he needs a nearby place to put up a bunch of barely legal boobie baring sorority gurls gone wild?

Earlier this week we all spent considerable time poring over the fabulous floor plan for Bill and Tina Flaherty’s drool worthy dooplex penthouse at Manhattan’s Rosario Candela designed 1040 Fifth Avenue that recently landed on the market with an asking price of $43,000,000.

A helpful young man we’ll call Tricky Dick thought the children might enjoy a look-see at the original floor plan for the penthouse (below) that was published in Andrew Alpern’s book The New York Apartment Houses of Rosario Candela and James Carpenter.

The children will note that the original floor plan included three bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms plus a full complement of staff rooms surrounding the kitchen and pantry.

Although she’s yet to find anyone willing to actually buy the place, Your Mama hears from more than one well connected real estate source that our favorite Oscar nominated nut job Sharon Stone leased out the real estate white elephant on N. Beverly Drive that she bought, never moved into and has been trying to sell for nearly two damn years even though the asking price has been reduced from $12,500,000 to $10,000,000. We understand that Miz Stone is getting about thirty-five grand a month for the 5 bedroom and 6 bathroom compound, an amount which probably just about covers the bills for her, uhm, dermatologist.

Another helpful and generous reader took the time to scan and email Your Mama the original floor plan for the Samuel Goldwyn Jr. mansion (below) that recently hit the market with an asking price of $24,000,000. The floor plan was included in a book called Residential Architecture in Southern California.

Until one of Your Mama’s little spies gets into the house, we won’t know if the floor plan remains the same as was originally built, but the children will note that when the house was completed in 1934 the master suite encompassed and entire wing of the second floor and included a sitting room, a large dressing room, two bathrooms, city view terraces and a large sleeping porch, a deelishusly practical feature for dealing with the scorching heat of Southern California back in the days before air conditioning.