Paul Haggis Goes Modest in Santa Monica

BUYER: Paul Haggis
LOCATION: 15th Street, Santa Monica, CA
PRICE: $2,365,000
SIZE: 2,262 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 1.75 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …Trad. style w/ modern amenities. Living rm w/ wd burn fl & light oak hdwd flrs, Formal dining rm. Sleek kitchen w/ Carrera marble counters & back splash, stainless cabinets, sub zero fridge & drawers, pro stainless range. Kitchen w/ brkfast bar opens to family room w/ built in cabinets. Master bath w/ beautiful finishes. Private backyard w/ outside bar, Viking pro bbq & fridge. Low maintenance yrd w/ huge deck for entertaining.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Every now and then we hear of a celebrity real estate transaction that comes completely out of the blue and from someone we’ve never heard of nor spoken to before. We love when that happens. Nuthin‘ gets our juices flowing better than a new tipster who enjoys transmitting Your Mama all the good real estate 411.

Anyhoo, over the weekend, while riveted to the boob-toob watching the frightening fires bob and weave through southern California, we heard word from a lad we’ll call Stewart Slyasafox who whispered in Your Mama’s big ear that two-time Oscar winning writer/producer Paul Haggis recently bought a new house in Santa Monica, CA.

Upon receiving the electronic communique, we immediately ripped our beady little eyes away from the tee-vee and took to the internets where, sho enuf, property records do indeed reveal that the much ballyhooed Canadian born filmmaker (Quantum of Solace, Flags of Our Fathers, Million Dollar Baby, Crash) forked over $2,365,000 to purchase a discreet residence on a desirable tree-lined Santa Monica street.

Now children, surely Mister Haggis and is lovely wifey Debbie could afford a much more expensive and a much more estate-like abode. However, living large does not seem to be their real estate cup of tea. According to listing information we dug up, the new Haggis house, a brick fronted, architecturally insignificant and fully rehabbed ranch, measures in at a modest 2,262 square feet with just three bedrooms and 1.75 bathrooms.

Your Mama realizes it’s quite a stretch to apply the adjective “modest” to a house that cost nearly 2.5 million clams and certainly some of you children are going to get your panties all in a bunch about someone spending that amount of money to purchase a property that would cost one-tenth of what Mister Haggis paid if he lived in Omaha, Topeka or Tallahassee. However, apparently Mister and Missus Haggis want to live in Santa Monica and, whether any of you people like it or not, in this neck of the north of Montana Avenue woods, two-and-a-half million big ones is about what an average sized house costs…even in a real estate market that appears to be headed down the crapper.

Children, when viewing the photographs, please keep in mind that the day-core is NOT that of Mister and Missus Haggis, but rather that of the previous owner. So, even though we do appreciate the large B&B Italia sectional sofa in the family room and we can always get behind pulling six or eight Panton chairs up to a rustic wood dining room, these things no longer live in this house.

None the less, listing information does indicate that the house features lovely light oak floors that look like they’ve had a mild bleaching, a living room with a brick faced fireplace surround, a decent sized dining room, a commodious family room with built in cabinetry for the flat screen tee-vee, and a galley style kitchen with high grade appliances, stunning Carrara marble counter tops and stainless steel cabinetry. Lawhd have mercy on our snarky soul, our bossy bleach blond housegurl Svetlana would scratch out our eyeballs iffin Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter ever bought a house with stainless steel cabinetry like this. That woman would quite literally go ballistic if she was asked to keep all that stainless steel fingerpring and dog nose smear free.

The backyard, while unfortunately criss-crossed by power lines, is well set up for entertaining family, friends and all those people you don’t like but have to invite over to your house for a bbq once in while anyway. The leviathan deck can double as a dance floor and that small patch of grass is just enough green space for our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly to stretch out in the shade. Behind the two car garage that is accessed by an alley at the rear of the property, a well equipped barbecue station has been built in with Viking appliances and plenty of counter space for laying out the hot dogs.

We’re not sure if it’s the stark white walls perfect for hanging art, or if it’s the pared down modern day-core of the previous owner, or if it’s the idea of being just 15 blocks from the Pacific Ocean, but both Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter like this house very much. There is something very appealing about an modestly sized house with an unassuming (and even slightly unattractive) exterior that hides an updated and upgraded interior that has been fitted and kitted with all the modrun conveniences for comfortable contemporary living. We only wish there was better access to the outdoors from the living, dining, and family rooms because, after all, isn’t being able breeze in and out of open doors in December one of the benefits of living in southern Caleefornya?

Given that records reveal that Mister and Missus Haggis currently own a much larger 5 bedroom and 8 bathroom house a few blocks away on 10th Street, it’s unclear whether the high-powered pair intend to use this newly purchased house as a personal residence, an investment or for some other reason unfathomable to us.

Records also show that Mister and Missus Haggis own several additional pieces of property including (but not limited to) a vacant ocean view lot in Pacific Palisades (that appears to have some potential geologic issues) as well as a 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom penthouse apartment on Mercer Street in New York City which records show was purchased in October of 2006 for $2,900,000.

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