Nic Cage Selling Another One

SELLER: Nic Cage
LOCATION: Spanish Heights Drive, Las Vegas, NV
PRICE: $9,490,000 (reduced from $9,500,000)
SIZE: 14,306 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 5 full and 3 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …Each guest suite and bath is done in such an individual unique manner one must take a second look to absorb the meticulous detail. Game rooms, guest quarters, professional theatre, state of the art security system are just a few of the gracious amenities. Three levels of living and entertaining with a commercial grade element to take you from your 16 car garage to a master suite that is a world apart–complete with steam, sauna and a jetted tub with a water fountain–private balcony views the mountains for a romantic sunset escape.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is running behind on a number of older items we’ve had lined up in our queue of celebrity properties, so we recognize and realize that many of you children already know that hair challenged and Academy Award winning actor Nic Cage is selling his giant house in Las Vegas from reading other websites and blogs that obsessively discuss celebrity real estate the way Your Mama does.

However, given that Mister Cage is one of the most prolific celebrity buyers and sellers of real estate, we figured we’d give this one a whirl anyway. Keep your mouth shut and move ahead if you’ve already read all you want to read about the humongous hacienda located on Spanish Heights Drive that Mister Cage has listed with an asking price of $9,500,000.

Located in the high priced gated community called The Spanish Hills, property records show that Mister Cage purchased his rather large desert hideout in September of 2006 for $8,500,000. Interestingly the public records Your Mama accessed indicate that creepy illusionist David Copperfield once owned the land on which Mister Cage’s 14,306 square foot house sits.

Given that Mister Cage owns more properties around the world than Your Mama has fingers to count, it’s unclear how much time Mister and Missus Cage actually spent roaming around the three floor mansion that includes 7 bedrooms (including a master with jetted tub, steam and sauna contraptions and private sitting room), 9 terlits, 3 fireplaces, garaging for a shocking 16 cars (who has 16 cars?), a professional theatre, a hotel lobby sized living room, gor-may kitchen, work out room, a swimming pool and spa and a commercial grade elevator that services all three floors of the 14,306 square foot house that is squeezed like a baby in the damn birth canal onto a .36 acre parcel.

Listing information indicates that the Cage casa is being offered fully furnished with each of the bedrooms done up in an “individual and unique manner,” which quite frankly sounds a little frightening. Listen children, if anyone were to ask Your Mama–and of course no one did–there is little worse than themed bedrooms in private homes. No one, including Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter, wants to drive 14 hours to visit Aunt Mary only be put up in a bedroom decorated like some fake-ass fantasy vision of Africa–because, you know, unlike Your Mama, Aunt Mary has never actually been to Africa–or an icky homage to her honeymoon in Hawaii. Seriously people, no one. Your Mama’s decorating rule #28: No themed bedrooms in private homes. Ever. Themed bedrooms are only acceptable in kooky and kitchy motels like the magnificently camp Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo, CA. (Your Mama’s favorites has always been the Austrian Suite worked over all in blue and the pinkalicious Madonna Suite. Check ’em out for a good giggle).

Anyhoo, Your Mama hasn’t a clue why Mister Cage would buy, exuberantly decorate and sell this huge house in just two years of ownership. But then again we also don’t know what drives a man to (reportedly and according to property records) own a big house in Bel Air, two houses in New Orleans including the infamous LaLaurie House, a castle and a townhouse in Bath, England, a mansion (or two) in San Francisco, a big house in Middletown, Rhode Island, a couple of places in the Bahamas including a 40+ acre private island as well as additional residences in New York and Newport Beach, where he recently sold a humongous harbor front house for a blistering $35,000,000.

According to the Internet Movie Data Base the in demand actor has at least 7 or 8 projects in development and post production, so we don’t imagine he has any trouble coughing up the necessary coin, but Your Mama’s head still goes light and we have to power sniff the smelling salts just to consider the massive amount of moo-lah that Mister Cage and his much younger wifey Alice are required to spend every year on the taxes, maintenance and staffing for all of their too many houses.

Property records show that tennis titan Andre Agassi also owns two houses (and a third lot with a tennis court) in the posh Spanish Hills gated community, and as was reported by Mister Big Time previously, Mister Cage also owned a second home in the gated community, on Spanish Hills Drive that he purchased in September of 2005 for $2,250,000 and sold in April 2007 for $2,300,000, a sale price that surely amounted in a net loss for the property rich Mister Cage.

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