SELLER: Michelle Branch
LOCATION: Forsythe Place, Nashville, TN
SIZE: 3,706 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: …Superior construction. Modern floor plan. Lots of natural light. Cathedral ceilings and large rooms. Wonderful kitchen with all Viking appliances. 4 extra large bedrooms. Master on main level. Cultured stone exterior. Slate roof and copper gutters. Private patio and backyard.
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It was only in early February of 2008 that Your Mama discussed a relatively modest house in the swank and leafy Belle Meade area of Nashville, TN that grammy winning singer/songwriter Michelle Branch bought for what records show was $1,350,000.
Thanks to our guy in Nashville–a man who happily calls himself The Nashville House Whore–we’ve recently learned that twenty something year old Miz Branch has flipped her Forsythe Place property back on to the market with an asking price of $1,285,000. That’s right children, it does not take a lengthy consultation with our bejeweled abacus to understand that Miz Branch is attempting to sell her 3,706 square foot Nashville nest for $65,000 LESS than she paid for it less than one year ago. Hmm. Inneresting. She must really want to be selling this place.
Anyhoo, listing information shows the cultured stone faced residence includes 4.5 terlits and four large bedrooms, including a main floor master suite with vaulted wood ceiling, a dressing area with custom cabinetry and a cattle trough style free standing bathtub. As nice as that tub looks, Your Mama don’t care to sit in a pool of our own filth. However, we thinks we see a party sized (steam?) shower, a feature all the straight swingers and horny homosexuals can appreciate and make good use of.
Other main floor rooms include a large entrance and stair hall, a living room with fireplace, vaulted ceilings and a giant taxidermy buffalo head stuck up on the wall. Maybe it’s just Your Mama, be we don’t think it’s good karma to have dead animals nailed up on the wall around the house. The formal dining room has been all done up and did over in chocolate brown and white with a contemporary chandelier playfully working against cane backed Louis the Something style chairs. We are definitely not feeling those giant linen covered wing back chairs shoved into the corners. We don’t know why, but they kind of make Your Mama feel sad.
The fully kitted out eat in kitchen includes a giant pantry and successfully works the line between modern and country with a full complement of stainless steel Viking appliances and a celery colored work island that we’re sure is brand-spankin’ new but still looks like it could have (or was meant to look like it) walked out of a 100 year old farmhouse.
At the top of the stairs is a room that Miz Branch and Mister Landau have set up as a cozy room for watching the tee-vee with cozy looking twin linen covered sofas. We covet that trio of blown glass bottles sitting on the coffee table. Listing information indicates that two of the three secondary bedrooms have private terlits, a set up Miz Branch’s over night guests surely appreciated.
Several sets of french doors open the house to the back yard where stone terraces have been furnished with sitting and dining areas. Since Nashville can get a bit toasty in the summer, we’d prefer a bit more shade over the terraces, but it’s nothing that a few well placed market umbrellas can’t fix.
Listen children, this house is nothing like the sort of house or the kind of day-core Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter want to live in and with and it’s certainly not without a couple of rough (but easily remedied) rough spots. However, we’d be a fool if we coulnd not recognize that this place looks fantastic, like a house actual people could live in. We don’t know what nice gay decorator did up Miz Branch’s dee-lish looking digs, but whomever it was did a very nice job and clearly earned every penny and dollar it cost Miz Branch.
Property records and previous reports on Miz Branch’s real estate doings reveal that she and her much older huzband Teddy Landau sold their Calabasas, CA crib in September of 2007 for $2,940,000. In mid-2006, according to reports, the May-December couple forked over $290,000 to purchase a condo in the Werthan Lofts in the Germantown area of Nashville. As far as we can tell, she still owns that place.