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SELLER: Kenny Rogers
LOCATION: Valley Road NW, Atlanta, GA
PRICE: $7,795,000 (furnishings included)
SIZE: 9,000 square feet (est. and approx.), 6 bedrooms, 6.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Absolutely spectacular home has been painstakingly renovated from top to bottom by owner Kenny Rogers. Wonderful layout, splendid finishes and materials throughout. Comfortable yet so elegant, this home is being offered complete with furnishings. Unbelievable landscape front to back. Elevator, pool.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Since it’s already been discussed in the Wall Street Journal, The Atlanta Journal Constitution, and of course by the always on top of things Mister Big Time, Your Mama is obviously arriving way late to the rodeo on this wee bit of celebrity real estate gossip. But we couldn’t resist. See children, Your Mama grew up on a musical diet of legendary country crooner Kenny Rogers who recently foisted his “Italian-style” suburban Atlanta mansion on to the market with an asking price of $7,950,000, furniture included.

Your Mama couldn’t even begin count the number of times we sped around riding in the cubby of Big Daddy’s Corvette Stingray with Sister Woman in the passenger seat and Kenny Rogers giving us gambling lessons from a well-worn 8-track tape. And children, we are not even remotely embarrassed to admit that our eclectic musical play list still includes several of Mister Roger’s songs, most notably Islands in the Stream, his flaw-less duet with plastic surgery kindred spirit and fellow country music icon Dolly Parton.

Records and reports indicate that 69 year old Mister Rogers and his much younger wifey Wanda bought their Buckhead behemoth in March of 2006 for $2,800,000 and proceeded to remodel, raise the roof, replace the landscaping and fill the place with truckloads of champagne and beige colored furniture all to the tune of another $3,000,000.

Although property records show Mister Roger’s residence measures in at 5,815 square feet, all the reports in the big newspapers say it’s really around 9,000 square feet with 6 bedrooms and 6.5 bathrooms. Other luxury amenities on the fenced and gated 1.5 acre spread include a screening room so aggressively and mono-chromatically beige it’s difficult to discern the sofas from the floors, an in ground gunite swimming pool with an itty bitty spa, a home gym, an elevator, and African themed guest bedroom (oh dear!) and a double driveway that leads to a three car garage and loads of additional parking.

Clearly, much time, money and attention was spent on the interior day-core of this home. All the efforts by Mister Rogers and his team of nice gay decorators has certainly paid off if the idea was to get the place primed, pumped and prepared for a small army of picture snappers from Architectural Digest to get in there and take porno-style photos of the furniture and music memorabilia. However, the place is simply too, uhm, dramatic–and beige–for Your Mama’s delicate sensibilities and tastes, and we are so completely fascinated and fixated on what message is meant to be transmitted by showing Republican presidential hopeful John McCain on the boob-toob over the fireplace in the family room that we’re having trouble seeing, parsing or making sense of much else in the Rogers’ residence.

The Wall Street Journal article mentioned that Mister Rogers and his wifey Miss Wanda are also selling a nearby parcel for $2,900,000. According to Mister Rogers, the couple bought the 5-acre parcel in June of 2007 because, “My boys needed a place to play.” The couple spent buckets of bucks adding a playground, irrigation, a rock wall, landscaping and electricity all so their 4-year old twin boys would have a place to frolic. Yes children, Mister Rogers fathered children in his sixties when most men are preparing to be grandfathers.

Anyhoo, all reports say that Mister Rogers, his wifey Wanda and their toddler twins will soon be moving to a 150-acre estate in sleepy Nicholson, GA–just outside of Athens–where they are building a modest 3,000 square foot house with a pond, two guest bungalows and a barn. Mister Rogers told the the Atlanta Journal Constitution that their new spread will be, “kind of like Disneyland with animals.” Oh lawhd have mercy on our snarky soul. What makes people with a lot of damn money think they need to provide their children with an amusement park in the back yard? Word to the wise, plenty of people raise up their children in less lavish surroundings and they turn out just fine. Pleeze.

Besides, Kenny-hun, iffin you wanted to raise up your kids in a damn amusement park slash zoo, you coulda just called The White Lady and offered him a good price on Neverland Ranch. All that Disneyland crap is already there.

Here’s the question we have before we move on to bigger and better things…who would buy an eight million dollar house with all custom furnishings of the previous owner? Do rich people who really do this? Or is it more likely some pharmaceutical executive with a fat back account will buy the place and trash all the furniture so that his wife will have a “project?”