SELLER: Juanita Bartlett
LOCATION: Main Street, Vineyard Haven, Martha’s Vineyard
PRICE: $12,950,000
SIZE: 6,782 square feet (as per assessor), 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 2 half bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Built in the 1920s this magnificent Italianate palazzo style home sits atop the highest point of land overlooking Vineyard Haven’s outer harbor. The 10,000-square-foot main residence consists of 6 bedrooms, 6 baths, 2 powder rooms, a grand foyer, large living room, sun porch, dining room, gourmet kitchen, family room, media room, office, exercise room, and wine cellar…

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Not too long ago we received word from Smiley, one of our tipsters with a thing for Martha’s Vineyard, who informed Your Mama that television writer Juanita Lee had listed her waterfront home in the village of Vineyard Haven on Martha’s Vineyard for $12,950,000. The children prolly don’t recognize Miz Bartlett’s name, but surely ya’ll recall the 1970s television hit The Rockford Files. Well, Miz Bartlett wrote that show along with episodes of The Greatest American Hero and The Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

For those not familiar with Martha’s Vineyard, it’s a triangular shaped island off the coast of Massachusetts with a long history of genteel summering. Blue bloods and well to do bohemian types have been ferrying to Martha’s Vineyard since someone figured out how to put shingles on houses. It is also the location of several Kennedy family tragedies including where in 1969 Senator Ted Kennedy had his infamous and unfortunate Chappaquiddick car crash that killed that poor Kopechne gurl, and also to where John Kennedy Jr. was flying with his fashionista wifey Carolyn Bessette and her sister Lauren when their plane plunged into the Atlantic in 1999.

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Miz Bartlett’s summer getaway sits on Main Street over looking something called “the outer harbor” in the dry town of Vineyard Haven. Dry? Oh no! Dry means you can’t buy alcohol there, which means Vineyard Haven won’t be seeing Your Mama and the Dr. Cooter anytime soon.

Listing information for Miz Bartlett’s “Italianate palazzo” indicate it was recently underwent an extensive 3 year renovation that sensitively incorporated modern amenities and restored the custom mill work. Now babies, we don’t care much for Miz Bartlett’s taste in sofas, and dining room tables (and do not even get Your Mama started on those curtain valances jobs in the living room) , but we give the ladee a raucous standing ovation for spending the big bucks to restore the wonderful woodwork and window seat in the stair hall.

In addition to the 6 bedroom, 6 full and 2 half bathroom main house, which property records indicate measures 6,872 square feet and the listing proudly declares has 10,000 square feet, the water front property also includes a 3,000 square foot carriage house. Your Mama takes the foolish liberty to assume that the 10,000 number comes from combining the square footage of the main and carriages houses.

In addition to Miz Bartlett and the Bill Clintons who sometimes vacation there, Martha’s Vineyard attracts all sorts of celebrity and Hollywood types not interested in the high octane summer scene in the Hamptons and includes Carly Simon, James Taylor, news maven Diane Sawyer, Bill Murray, Naomi Foner and Stephen Gyllenhaal (Jake and Maggie’s folks), Larry David, Wes Craven is reported to own several homes, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, and ex-Beatle Paul McCartney.

Your Mama hasn’t a clue why Miz Bartlett has chosen to sell her vacation house, but we’re certain once she does she’ll miss that big private beach. We know we would.