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SELLER: Harvey Fierstein
LOCATION: West Hollow Road, Brewster, NY
PRICE: $749,900
SIZE: 3,640 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Perfect Center Hall Colonial set on 4+ acres in private culde-sac. Home welcomes you with dramatic 2 story entry, which opens to great rm with fireplace. Lovely formal dining rm. Office, parlor, well appointed kitchen any gourmet would love. Full bath & laundry. 2nd level boasts lavish master bedroom suite + 3 add’l bedrooms, finished bonus rm & two full baths. Additional highlights include back staircase, full walkout basmt with high ceilings.

YOUR MAMAS UPDATE: Although he does own it, it’s very possible that Mister Harvey Fierstein does not actually occupy this house. Hence all the wacky statuettes and folk art figurines may in fact not belong to the big and bigger than life actor. If anyone would like to clear that up, please give us a shout. In the meantime, we leave the discussion unchanged.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We are running way behind so we are going to try to be brief today. Your Mama has learned from Westchester Willy that cross dressing Broadway icon Harvey Fierstein has put his Putnam County country pad on the market for $749,900. For the mapless few, Putnam County sits just north of swanky Westchester County, which is of course just north of New York City.

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Property records indicate that gravel voiced Mister Fierstein purchased the 3,640 square foot house in December of 20o5. Records also reflect that the Tony and Emmy winning diva paid $790,000 for the 4.31 acre property on West Hollow Road, so it looks like Miss Thing will be losing some money on this transaction. A local realtor that Your Mama communicated with thinks the house and location are “fierce” and should sell quickly despite the “festive” decor.

Listing information indicates the house, which sits in a small development of like minded houses, has 4 bedroom, 4 bathrooms, a parlor (of course Miz Fierstein has a parlor!), dining room, office, eat in kitchen and a full walk out and windowed basement. A back staircase makes it easier for weekend guests to squirrel tricks in and out without disturbing the ladee of the house.

Harvey hunny, all due respect to you because Your Mama really does hold you in the highest esteem as an actor and an activist. However, Your Mama confesses that we are terribly disappointed with the interior decor of this house. We are certain that what we are looking is an extensive collection of folk and outsider art. However, all those figurines and doll like things standing, sitting, leaning and gesturing throughout the house give us the heebie jeebies. Seeing those crazy things lurking in the corners, with their strange faces, thrusting arm and legs all akimbo would scare the skin right off our body as we walked bleary eyed through a shadowed room after a long night reality television and a tall pitcher of gin and tonics. Seriously Harvey, how do you keep from coming through that front door without shrieking out your big lungs in fright because it looks like there is a skinny scarecrow burglar sitting in wait with his legs though the rails on the balcony thing in the entrance hall?

Don’t misunderstand, we like folk and outsider art as much as the next art appreciator, and there are indeed a good number of pieces in there that we like quite a bit, such as the big colored light bulb arrow in the front hall and the kooky Magritte-ish painting in the parlor where you’ve installed a vintage jukebox perfect for Saturday night singalongs. We also enjoy that mod plastic dinette set in the kitchen, however it’s unpleasantly and unhappily juxtaposed with an oil painting of President Abraham Lincoln. We can just about tolerate the red faux suede sectional (due in part to the fact that it looks comfortable), and we can even get behind the collection of oil portraits and gold gilded frames. But those dancer dolls are a real problem for us and we are deeply concerned those red and white flowers on the coffee table might be plastic, or even worse, silk. And the bed spread. Oh, Harvey. Hunny. Please. No. How about swapping that overly bizzy thing out with a nice, simple navy duvet?

Here’s the thing dollies, we love that the decor of this house has a personality and a point of view even if the middle brow architecture does not. And we love that Mister Fierstein collects. Collections are fantastic. However, Your Mama would gently and respectfully suggest to Mister Fierstein that he do a little bit of editing. He’s a tip for Mister Fierstein and all the childen, it’s simply not necessary dto show everything in a collection at the same time, particularly if it’s a large collection.

No word on why Mister Fierstein has decided to unload this place at a huge loss, however property records show he owns another house in nearby Ridgefield, CT. as well as a duplex apartment on a high floor of a West 83rd Street building in New York City that records suggest he has owned since at least November of 1987.