It’s been a little while since Your Mama has done a little mish mash. So here we go…

Thanks to all the many emails, text messages and phone calls we’ve received in the last 24 hours, we can finally clear up some of the confusion we had regarding the many recent reports of Oscar winning hottie Halle Berry and her Canadian-born baby daddy buying a big spread in St. Hippolyte, a wee country town about one hour north of Montreal that one sassy French Canadian told us is “the middle of nowhere.”
According to listing information we located online (which was also sent by a number of convivial Canucks) we’ve learned that the property in question (pictured above) offers “sixty-eight acres of privacy and seclusion” and includes a 2,500 square foot modern architectural hoose with 3 bedrooms and just 1 bathroom. Although the bathroom is dee-voon, we wonder if Miss Berry will have a few Canadian contractors up there tout de suite adding a private pooper to the master bedroom.

Listing information also indicates the gated estate was listed at $1,850,000 (Canadian, we presume), offers deeded access to nearby Lac à L’Achigan and comes with its own “five acre private spring fed lake.” At the risk of being completely and utterly incorrect, we’re guessing the Lac Molson that was referenced in other reports is this private 5 acre lake.

Thanks to our ever intrepid research superstar B.S. Beaverman who forwarded the snaps. Although we’re not into a Canadian winter, we have just three words to describe this property: Gor. Jee. Uhs.

Yesterday we received a phone call from our fine friend Fiona Trambeau, a woman of loose morals who swears it is her sworn duty to ferret out and feel up all the heterosexual men in San Francisco, who hooked us over to a juicy article in the NY Post about jet setting human rights advocate Bianca Jagger getting evicted from her rent stabilized apartment in New York City.

The Nicaraguan born British citizen who is known to keep an apartment in London also held a long term and rent stabilized lease on a posh Park Avenue pied a terre for which she paid $4,614 per month.

According to Miz Jagger’s landlord, the ex-wife of Mick Jagger stopped paying rent a few years back, a scenario which tends to piss off landlords, particularly the ones who own rent stabilized units. The two parties fussed and fought until 2006 when the dispute wound up in front of a judge who ordered the rich bee-hawtcha to pony up the back rent. The former model and Studio 54 fixture pushed back claiming she was unable to live in the 18th floor apartment because an asbestos and fungus contamination rendered the apartment uninhabitable.

So back to the courthouse they went where Miz Jagger and her high priced attorney appealed the earlier decision that required her to cough up a big wad of cash for unpaid back rent. However, her appeal was shot down because Miz Jagger holds a B2 (tourist) visa which requires her to maintain a “principal, actual dwelling place” outside of the United States and, of course, New York City rent regulation laws require the lease holder maintain the stabilized unit as a “primary residence.” And as we all know from filing our taxes, you can’t legally have two primary residences.

There is no word on whether Miz Jagger will choose to lease a market rate apartment in New York.

Hollywood’s most famous Scientologist Tom Cruise seems to have brought some of his real estate crazy to New York City where his much younger wifey Katie Holmes is currently appearing in some Broadway play or other. The couple–who last summer were widely reported to be looking at a number of very high priced rentals including the $200,000 per month penthouse at the Trump Park Avenue–are now reported to be shacking up in one of the better buildings in the East Village where the people at Page Six in the NY Post say Mister Crooz has owned a 10th floor apartment since 1985.

Page Six also reported yesterday that one of Mister and Missus Cruz’s chattier neighbors claims, “Tom and Katie now keep five units in the building.” The nosy neighbor went on to say that one of the units has been turned into a playroom for Suri, another into a gym and two others are utilized for staff.

Listen children, given that one of the Crooz’s mouthpieces denies the couple is snatching up apartments in the 12 story East Village building and given all the real estate rumors that have circulated about Mister Cruise–remember last year when we all thought he wanted to buy a big spread at The Dakota?–who knows what’s true and what’s not about his downtown living situation. What we really want to know is if they chow down on pierogi at Veselka.