My partner Stewart Scott and I got married.
Friday evening, with just a few friends and family present, we stepped out on our doorstep, and in a very simple ceremony made our vows, presided over by West Hollywood City Councilman John Duran.
Like many other couples we know, we thought that we could wait it out, for some later date that would allow us the time to prepare for a larger ceremony. But with a hopeless addiction to Websites like fivethirtyeight.com and Pollster.com, I could not ignore the polling reality that there is a good chance that Proposition 8 will pass on Nov. 4, closing the window for now on same-sex nuptials.
It’s a quandary for many same-sex couples: Wait and risk losing the chance to marry, or take the plunge in smaller, quickly arranged ceremonies. Stewart and I have been together for six years, so it was better safe than sorry.
Ours was Duran’s third wedding of the day and his 73rd since marriage was made legal. Two other couples I know have been married this weekend, too, and I suspect that the pace will pick up as we approach Election Day.
So, to say the least, the past few days have been a bit of a whirlwind.
Having decided on Thursday, we rushed over to Tiffany & Co. on Friday to get rings. Things are pretty slow there with the economy, so they had ample stock. Then we had a bit of a disagreement over what to wear — the compromise being suits without ties. Then we worried that my brother, his wife and three kids wouldn’t make it in time. They did. Then it dawned on me: I have been to many weddings in my life, and this frantic sense seems to happen whether you plan a day in advance or a year.
We piped Italian music into the courtyard, as neighbors started to gather around the doorstep. One neighbor got a floodlight to illuminate the front doorstep in the dusk, and a small circle formed around the front entrance. Under a fall garland and a colonial-style doorway, we exchanged vows and then rings. It all took about 10 minutes.
It was all very simple and even a bit elegant — a credit to Stewart.
My spouse and I have been spending much of the weekend relaxing, letting it all sink in, and planning a little trip after the election. And while I look back at the craziness of the past few days, I also am a bit relieved. We may have relied on the scientific random sample to help us decide our wedding day, denying (or saving) us months of wedding planning. It would have been nice to have a larger wedding, but it doesn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. It was still wonderful. As I am learning now, straight or gay, marriage is marriage, and I’m with someone I love.