Craig Ferguson: ‘As I was saying, before I was so …

Craigferguson_2TV’s Craig Ferguson came back with a guest-free “Late Late Show,” all WGA-member-penned material, all the time. Ferguson as always offered his own Glasgow-y perspective on things reflecting on life in Britain during the never-ending strikes of the 1970s.

“I grew up in an environment of strikes. Britain in 1970s, everyone on strike. Coal miners, postal workers, the dentists. I’ll never forget the British dental strike of 1979.  It’s still going they never resolved it. But when the British miners went on strike, it was very violent, they set fire to cars. When my writers went on strike, they set fire to their farts.”

Here’s the whole bloody monologue (thanks CBS):

Welcome to LA, California.  Welcome to The Late Late Show.

I’m your host, TV’s Craig Ferguson.

Sit down, relax, that is more than enough.

As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted…

It’s a great day for America.   We’re back.  We are back!!!

Most of you probably didn’t notice this, but we were away for awhile. 

Writers strike still on, but we got special pass. 

It is the TV equivalent of diplomatic immunity.  I’m like Switzerland in TV: “I’ll hold the jackets and your money you two continue to fight.”

This is the way they talk in Switzerland. Movies from 1940’s about Nazi’s.   “Have you tried our chocolate?”

My boss, David Letterman – I know he’s my boss! –  made a deal for our shows to return with the whole staff. 

And if anyone in America can get a deal made, it’s David Letterman. 

I found that out when I was making deal to work here. 

I tried to be tough, but Dave made an offer I couldn’t refuse. 

I woke up and found Paul Shaffer’s head in my bed.