SELLER: Christie Brinkley
LOCATION: Brick Kiln Road, Bridgehampton, NY
PRICE: $30,000,000
SIZE: 8,500 square feet (approx.), 11 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Originally built in 1898 by local nobility Dr. John Gardiner and named Dulce Domum, this country residence was set upon a twenty-acre parcel two hundred feet above sea level…475 tones of local rock was used for the base foundation of this twelve bedroom compound, which consists of the considerable main house with multi-level stone terraces, a substantial guest house with a greenhouse conservatory overlooking a botanical nursery and a palatial gunite pool, a substantial barn artist studio with gym, living quarters with a four car heated garage.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Your Mama is a little late to the party on this one, but better to arrive late in a good pair of shoos than not at all, right? On Monday, the NY Post‘s supreme celebrity real estate gossip Braden Keil was the first to report that super model mommy Christie Brinkley had once again put her massive Bridgehampton compound on the market, this time with a stunning $30,000,000 price tag. All the tabloids and and celebrity gossips, including Your Mama, have scrambled to jump on Mister Keil’s coattails with with reports of their own.

Y’all will recall that poor Miz Brinkley has recently been though a traumatic time in regards to her philandering husband, architect Peter Cook, who was caught fooling around with a teenage gurl he met while shopping in a toy store. A damn teenage gurl! Please. So it’s really no surprise to anyone that the 53 year old gorgeousness, who booted the adulterer and finagled the big Bridgehampton estate into her own name, would want to sell the marital house of horrors that she and the hubby lovingly refurbished together in 1998.

The 20 acre+ compound, known as Tower Hill because of the impressive 5-story observation tower the house is built around, has been on and off the market quite a bit in the last few years, including last summer when the former couple called it splitsville. The spectacular and beautifully restored property was on the market for $26,500,000, but the listing was removed in the wake of the public spectacle of their scandalous break up. Apparently the house has gained $3,500,000 in sympathy value since last summer.

According to the listing for the property, as well as Mister Keil’s report, the 8,500 square foot main house features 5 of the 11 bedrooms on the property, an upper living room with two massive stone fireplaces, a lower living room that spills out to the broad stone terraces at the back of the house, a two-story wood paneled family room, and of course, the 5 story tower, which puts a person high enough in the air to induce acrophobia and to view the Connecticut shore line. Does Your Mama even need to tell the children that we would not even consider breaking a sweat and going breathless climbing five flights of stairs just to catch a glimpse of the Connecticut coastline? We can far more easily, preferably and comfortably sit out by that delicious 75 foot long swimming pool and look at picture books of the Connecticut shore line.

Adjacent to the gargantuan gunite swimming pool sits the guest quarters, which include an all glass greenhouse conservatory, an architectural folly which Your Mama has never understood. Unless you like to grow hothouse flowers, and y’all know we do not, why would someone want an all glass room that heats up like a damn sauna during the oppressively humid Hamptons summers? Not to mention the amount of money required to pay someone to keep all that glass crystal clear and streak free.

A large barn completes the structures on the property and includes Miz Brinkley’s painting studio, a gym (natch), more living quarters, presumably for staff, and a four car heated garage, because a person needs to keep the Mercedes warm in the dead of winter.

And let’s not forget the outdoor activities on the property which include a tennis court/basketball court, extensive gardens, rolling lawns, and a playground for the kiddies. All good things considering this North of the highway location is about as far from the beach as one can get in the Hamptons.

Miz Brinkley, who lives in the Hamptons full time and year round, is well known as an East End land baroness. In addition to Tower Hill, the statuesque stunner owns an ocean front beach shack in Water Mill on Flying Point Road that she previously had on the market for $7,900,000 but took off so that she and the kids could use over the summer. At least that’s what we were told. There are also a couple of properties up in North Haven, including the 4.4 acre water front property on Fahys Road which includes a big Greek Revival house. Your Mama understand this is where philandering Pete is shacking up, although if we know Pete, and we don’t know Pete, the aging playboy is not sleeping alone up in North Haven.

Your Mama hears from Motormouth Molly, who is privy to the North Haven gossip, that the Cook/Brinkley’s have always been perturbed that local folks use the beach beside the Fahys Road property. Miss Molly also cattily tells Your Mama that not only have the estranged couple been known to shoo the locals away from the beach, “They are well known to insult their neighbors at village hall meetings, especially Mr.Cook.” Oh dear.

And let’s not forget the other Fahys Road property that Brinkley just purchased (listed at $10,995,000). The 2.6 acre water front spread happens to be right next door to the Fahys Road property mentioned above. Right. Next. Door. Could Miz Brinkley be preparing to evict the adulterer and create a new water front compound for herself and the kids? Is she trying to keep everyone close by for the sake of the kiddies relationship to their dallying daddy? Or is the model mommy trying to stick a needle in ol‘ Pete’s wandering eye by moving right next door where she can keep an eye on all the bronzed Hamptons hussies making their way in and out of the big Greek Revival house?

Sources: NY Post