BUYER: Sebastian Roché
LOCATION: S. Victoria Avenue, Venice, CA
PRICE: $1,525,000 (sale)
SIZE: 2,064 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Classic Venice traditional home on rare large lot. Sparkling black bottom pool surrounded by enchanted private yard. Perfect entertaining. Pool has child resistant barrier.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Today we’re going to piggy back on one of Mister Big Time‘s recent scoops about General Hospital soap stud Sebastian Roché’s recent purchase of a cute little traditional style house in Venice.

Your Mama loves Venice. All the incense hawkers, doped up roller skating queens and muscle heads can get a wee bit annoying, but it’s truly one of the few places in Los Angeles that is truly a multi-cultural melting pot where folks of different creeds and colors live, eat, shop and recreate together. It’s also the only place in the City of Angels that reminds Your Mama of New York, where rich and poor, colored and not all ride the same subways and order sandwiches at the same delicatessens. Yes children, Bel Air and Beverly Hills are indeed filled with brown people, but let’s be honest, they’re mostly staff for the rich white people. And the Persians. But that does not a melting pot make.

Anyhoo, Your Mama does not watch General Hospital or any of the other daytime dramas, but according to the internets, the French born, bohemian bred Mister Roché has been quite bizzy lately playing villain Jerry Jax on General Hospital and making movies like Beowulf in which he will star opposite multi-cultural mommy Angelina Jolie. So clearly, the scruffy actor who for many years was based in Upstate New York needed a place in Los Angeles to bed down at night and entertain the ladies.

If you ask Your Mama, and of course, no one did, Mister Roché’s choice of a modest, but very well maintained Venice traditional was a good one. Let’s imagine the place stripped down and removed of all that boring and uninspired furniture we see in the photos, particularly those floral grandma sofas and mammoth book case in the living room and those ridiculous balloon valance things in the dining room. Let us also assume that Mister Roché will quickly rid the house of that wrong red paint in the dining room and that upsetting lavender paint in the bathroom. We’d also recommend losing the tan paint in the living room and the fleshy colored paint in the bedroom.

For the purposes of our discussion, let’s also assume that Mister Roché is going to sink a few clams into a kitchen renovation, or at least will replace some of the appliances with more expensive and glamorous models. And finally, perhaps Mister Roché will have a good architect work out those funky ceiling angles in the family room.

After those simple fixes, it would seem then that we’d have ourselves a nice little house. Modestly sized at 2,064 square feet with just 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, the house is an excellent Venice location and sits on a generous .24 acre lot according to property records. We know all the children East of Pasadena and West of New York City are going to say a .24 acre lot is tiny, but trust Your Mama when we tell you that .24 acres is big for the heart of Venice.

For Your Mama, it’s really the wonderfully landscaped backyard set up that makes us hopeful Mister Roché will invite us over for a pool party. First off, we adore a covered patio area where we can lazily work the crosswords and sip gin and tonics while the Dr. Cooter and our long bodied bitches Linda and Beverly soak up the sun pool side. We swoon over the big rectangular pool, and we totally appreciate the room behind the detached garage so that when Luther the masseuse comes over there’s a private and quiet room dedicated to having the muscles mashed and kneaded.

Mister Big Time mentioned in his report that Mister Roché also owns a 117 acre estate in Upstate New York that he purchased with his now ex-wife, the up and coming actress Vera Farmiga. At least he used to. Property records may not yet reflect this, but well connected source whom Your Mama trusts implicitly tell us that Mister Roché recently sold the farm. It might amuse the children to know that Your Mama has actually been to Mister Rochés gorgeous (former) property in Upstate New York that includes a sensational swimming hole and a contemporary house built on the foundation of a former hotel/rooming house. The stunning property abuts another large parcel that is owned by actress Frances McDormand and film maker Joel Coen.

Now that he’s spending more time in Los Angeles, Your Mama wishes Mister Roché all the house happiness in the world and we look forward to his handsome visage staring back at us from the big screen very soon.