YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Simmer down now children, we are well aware that Jessica Simpson buying this house is news as old as Your Mama. But we were not discussing celebrity real estate back in late 2005 when she bought the house, and we figgered that since Bling Queen Kimora Lee Simmons just purchased the house directly next door, it might be nice to have a look around Simmons’ celebrity laden neighborhood, starting with the House of Jessica Simpson.
Some properties just seem to attract the Hollywood elite like fish to water, and the Lime Orchard Road house that bubble brained Jessica Simpson bought in the aftermath of her dee–vorce from ex-boy band singer Nick Lachey is one of those houses.
Your Mama watched the first season of Newlyweds just like everyone else. And of course, just like everyone else, we were mortified by just how dense Miss Simpson appeared to be, and how boring Mister Lachey seemed to be, despite his rather appealing beau-dee. Even more shocking and upsetting to Your Mama, however, was the fact that the young couple chose to live in a big and suburban mansion in Calabassas. Now children, we do not want to hear about what a lovely community Calabassas is and how scores of rich and famous live there. We have heard it all before, and we know. None the less, we found it odd and striking that a young and rich newly married couple in their very early twenties would choose to live in a house and location more suitable to a pharmaceutical executive, his stay at home mommy-wife, and their three children.
As a result, we were a little surprised back in late 2005, in the aftermath of the couple’s very public split, when both Nick and Jessica went on to purchase gorgeous and celebrity worthy homes. Nick headed to Bel Air where he purchased a confection of airy white boxes with staggering views from Seal and model mommy Heidi Klum. Jessica relocated to the Hills of Beverly where she purchased her house from one of Hollywood’s most talked about young power players, celebrity manager Rick Yorn. The big house in Calabassas was, of course, purchased by another young celebrity, this time teenage television actor Justin Berfield.
Starting in the mid-1990s, the Lime Orchard Road house began its history of owners that reads like a who’s who of Hollywood. First there was funny lady Jami Gertz and her huzband Tony Ressler, a finance man with a lot, we repeat, a lot of money. Next came bigwig television executive Tom Freston, who lived in the house for a couple of years before moving to another and larger house on Lime Orchard Road in 2001. Mister Freston sold the house to another funny lady, Ellen Degeneres.
As is typical of the always on the move lady lover, Degeneres kept the house only two years before selling in 2003 to Rick Yorn, uber-manager to celebrities such as Leonado DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Martin Scorcese, and Benecio Del Toro. Although the photos above show the house as it looked when Mister Yorn put it on the market in 2005, Your Mama presumes that it was obsessive renovator Degeneres who did the updating, upgrading, and spectacular remodel of the house.
Which brings us to the property’s present owner, Miss Jessica Simpson, who purchased the 5 bedroom, 6 bathroom house from Mister Yorn in December of 2005 for $5,275,052. Occupying an unusually shaped lot, the property includes a courtyard entrance with flagstone terracing, a 5,500 square foot house, and a long private back yard with a lap pool.
Your Mama would like to congratulate Miss Jessica Simpson for mustering the brain power to buy such a lovely and well located home. Not only does it’s landscaping provide extreme privacy, but the house is located in a gated enclave which ensures that Miss Simpson will not step out her front door to find a rented car full of teenage tourists from Kansas screaming and snapping photos as she loads up her Range Rover with whatever it is she loads in her Range Rover.
Since Miss Jessica Simpson has not yet invited Your Mama over for a tuna sandwich, we have now way of knowing if she and her team of nice gay decorators have kept the lovely white walls and the dark floors. We hope so. Your Mama already knows all you paint freaks out there are going to say that the house needs to have some color put on the walls, but we disagree. This house sits in a shady spot and the white walls help to harness the filtered light and reflect it into the corners of the rooms.
Personally Your Mama would liked to have seen a little more color utilized in the rugs and furniture choices, but even still, it is our humble opinion that this house was thoughtfully, carefully, and successfully decorated. Except for that damn juke box in the family room. That can go.
Your Mama sincerely hopes that Miss Jessica finds some deserved peace and calm in this house, particularly since she’s had a rough go of it since becoming a dee–vorcée. Her movie career is in the terlit, her on again off again tabloid relationship with moody singer John Mayor appears to finally be over, and her little sister Ashlee and her sexually ambiguous boyfriend Pete Wentz are eclipsing her celebrity more and more every day. Well, at least Miss Jessica has a lovely and safe house in which to lick her wounds and plot her next career moves. Maybe she could call Rick Yorn for some advice.