BUYERS: Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips
LOCATION: Hollyridge Drive, Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $2,995,000 (sale price)
SIZE: 4,323 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Mediterranean Estate with Old World Charm. Ultimate privacy abounds in this nearly 4,400sf gated Mediterranean set on a 28,000sf promontory. Wonderful master suite w/sitting rm, terrace & his/her walk-in closets. Featuring hi-ceilings, wd flrs & original details, this grand scale home also includes a liv rm w/fp, FDR, library w/fp, gourmet kitchen & 3 car garage. Relax by the pool, spa, lush landscaping & meditation gardens or enjoy the paddle tennis court & guesthouse.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Yesterday Mister Big Time beat us to the punch when he announced to the world that the actor Danny Masterson and his gal about town girlfriend Bijou Phillips purchased a new love nest in Los Feliz, where the couple will be living in unmarried sin. Other than to tell y’all that it appears Masterson’s Beachwood Canyon house appears to have a buyer, we really don’t have all that much to add to Mr. Big Time’s thorough report, but here’s what we got:

The property was originally listed at $3,495,000 and later reduced to $2,995,000. Which was a good price slash, because soon after Masterson and Phillips trotted over to Los Feliz and paid the full asking price for the property.

As Mister Big Time noted, the property had long been owned by music legend Chuck Berry who sold it in 2000 for $2,475,000. The new owner appears to have left the place sitting empty and he certainly did not renovate the bathrooms before putting the place on the market at a substantial profit.

The lot the house sits on is round. That’s right, round. While we do not recommend any of you twelve Bijou Phillips fans get in your cars and try it, the entire property can be circumnavigated in an automobile. Is this good for the Feng Shui?

The Mediterranean/Moorish style house has some interesting features and characteristics, but it also looks like it could use some upgrading, updating, and smoothing of the rough edges. Seriously, check out that disturbing bathroom. While designed to do one’s dirty bizness, we’re thinking we just might prefer to dig a hole out in the backyard before exposing our private parts to that freaky tile work.

The arched windows and the colonnade across the front of the house are lovely features, but the interior photos make the place seem just a little bit dark and sinister. We’re going to chalk that up to bad photos and assume that Chuck Berry didn’t leave any bad juju in the place.

Your Mama imagines and desperately hopes Masterson and Phillips will spend the next several months having the place renovated, particularly the unnerving bathrooms. If a Curbed LA tipster is to believe, it could take a week for Masterson’s Scientologist handy-men just to install all the hidden surveillance cameras throughout the property.

One more thing…who knew that Chuck Berry played paddle tennis?