SELLERS: Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen
LOCATION: Malibu Colony Road, Malibu, CA
SIZE: 2,963 square feet, 5 bedrooms, 5.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Situated in a gated enclave on one of SoCal’s most coveted beaches, this recently remodeled (2002) 5 bed, 5.5 bat retreat excels at entertaining. Open, yet intimate conversation areas, bathed in light, define the 1st floor living areas. Sparkling ktch w/TOL appliances & ample storage space. The ocnfront mster incs. romantic f/p, sun deck, walk-in closet & luxe bath area, each addtn’l br features custom finishes & bath areas w/waterworks tile & fixtures. Spacious 2nd flr family/gathering/ofc rm. Rare!
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Not only are we going to stay in Malee-bee this morning, Your Mama is going to stick with another cast member of the Cheers juggernaut. Lawhd children, we should all be so lucky to have a piece of the syndication rights of Cheers. For many years before and after the show came to an end, the re-runs could not be escaped on the boob-tube. Your Mama recalls a time not so long ago when we could not turn on the television without seeing that depressing basement bar in Boston.
Ted Danson, the over sexed ladies man owner of the bar, has long since moved beyond his role as Sam Malone on Cheers, and has had starring roles on Ink, a program Your Mama has never heard of, a long stretch as a bitter doctor on Becker, and most recently on Help Me Help You, where he plays a pompous psychiatrist with a lot of issues.
Danson’s wifey is the Oscar winning actor Mary Steenburgen, who manages to work a lot without becoming food for the tabloid grist mill. See babies, it really is possible to be a successful and famous actor who lives in Los Angeles and not have the paps tailing you all the time as you speed down Sunset Boulevard on the way to Kitson.
Anyhoo, back in 1999, a few years after the couple married, they sold an ocean front house on Victoria Point Road in Malee-boo to actor Michael Madsen who recently lost the house in foreclosure. Wig wearing Ted and Miss Mary parlayed that investment into some prime Malee-boo real estate in October of 2000 when they purchased another ocean front house in The Colony, the unfathomably expensive guard gated enclave of the rich and famous.
The property records we access to do not indicate what amount they paid for the property. However, we do know the house next door sold at just about the same time for just over $4.7 million. So we can all sleep well at night knowing toupé Ted and Miss Mary will make millions on the sale of the house, which is currently listed at a mind altering $18,500,000.
For those not familiar with The Colony, the houses are smashed up next to each other on narrow and tiny lots where windows sometimes look into the windows of the neighbors’ houses. Think about it. Even with clever landscaping and hedging, living in The Colony means paying $18,500,000 for a house that is so close to the next house that you might be able to see your middle aged, fat ass neighbor with a hairy back slathering cocoa butter on the 22 year old hussy with plastic boobs that he picked up the night before. And really, who needs to see that?
According to the listing information, the house underwent a renovation in 2002 and the the results are clearly stunning. Now children, the decor here is decidedly not what Your Mama would do with an ocean front house in The Colony, but it’s tough to beef with what appears to be excellent taste.
The casually elegant interiors do in fact look put your feet on the sofa comfortable, but we do imagine the maid goes nuts trying to keep those glossy wood floors from getting scraped and scratched from sand tracked in from the beach.
Although we don’t care for the topiary in the living room or the county style table and chairs in the family room area, we pee our pants with glee over the long, long kitchen. The all-white kitchen with the subway tile looks pleasingly antiseptic and appropriate for a room where one pounds tenderloin and beats eggs. The 72″ Viking range has us screaming at the top of our lungs with envy. The Dr. Cooter and Your Mama got a Viking too, but not one as big as a Cadillac like we see here.
The property records indicate the house is just under 3,000 square feet, but looking at the pictures and the listing, which states there are 5 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, it’s tough to believe the accuracy of that number.
The Danson / Steenburgen duo also own a large house on S. Burlingame Avenue in Brentwood. The 6,718 squre foot, 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom house, purchased in May of 2002 for $3,657,5000, is not the only house on S. Burlingame Avenue the couple has owned.
In in September of 1998 the couple bought 162 S. Burlingame Avenue for $3,525,000 but quickly sold the 8,000+ square foot in May 1999 for $3,623,500. And in December of 2005, they sold the 5,509 square foot house at 226 S. Burlingame for an undisclosed sum of money. The couple appears to have purchased that house in October of 1995 for $2,995,000.
The powerhouse acting pair also have a couple of houses on Martha’s Vineyard. Property records indicate they have owned one of the houses, which measures 3,935 square foot, 5 bedroom, 4.5 bathrooms, since at least 1998. Then in May of 20o2 they purchased the house next door for $3,850,000, presumably for privacy and family use.
Your Mama hasn’t a clue where these two will buy next, but we can’t imagine after years of owning ocean front homes in the area that they’ll stray too far from the sacred sands of Malee-boo.
UPDATE: The couple sold the house in the summer of 2008 for $15,500,000.