LAS VEGAS — Turns out the folks at CBS Corp. are liking single life quite a bit.
Recent spin-off from Viacom was a recurring theme at this week’s CBS affiliate conference, with several Eye speakers making note of how nice things are now that the company isn’t married to the Tom Freston-led half of Sumner Redstone’s media empire.
Affiliate topper Peter Schruth opened the conference by noting the Eye was “free at last! free at last!” And CBS Corp. prexy-CEO Leslie Moonves related a comment by anchor Charles Osgood about the virtues of CBS “being part of nothing else.”
But it was CBS Corp. communications czar Gil Scwhartz who had affils howling with his ode to corporate bachelorhood.
As part of his annual report to affils, Schwartz offered up a reworking of “Seasons in the Sun” that poked fun at the Eye’s former corporate cousin. Sample lyrics:
Goodbye my charming hipster friends/Now our joint operations are at an end.
As of January 3/We said goodbye to synergy.
It was never meant to be.
We had joy, we had fun, we had Bono on line one
But this half of the Redstone clan/Is Happy as a clam!
Schwartz, dressed as Johnny Cash and strumming a guitar, didn’t limit his song stylings to Viacom. He also paid homage to Jerry Bruckheimer, “slimy” gossip columnists and “Two and a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen’s recent tabloid torture with “Stand By Your Sheen”:
Sometimes it’s hard to be a network/Giving all your trust to Charlie Sheen
You’ll have bad times/And he’ll have good times
Doing things others find obscene.
But if you love him/You’ll forgive him
Even though you can’t believe the stuff you’ve seen.
And if you love him/Oh, be proud of him
‘Cause after all he’s just a Sheen.