We Should Not Exist

A unstructured mess created to stroke the oversized ego of star/helmer/scripter HPG, "We Should Not Exist" imparts an equally oversized dose of tedium in its tale of an ex-porn star trying to go legit. A particular Gallic sense of humor may be tickled by the lame grandstanding, but pic's limited French release will also signal its disappearance.

With:
With: HPG, LZA, Benoit Fournier, Jean-Claude Joerger, Marie-T Picou, Margaret Zenou, Marilou Berry, Rachida Brakni, Bertrand Bonello.

A unstructured mess created to stroke the oversized ego of star/helmer/scripter HPG, “We Should Not Exist” imparts an equally oversized dose of tedium in its tale of an ex-porn star trying to go legit. Though triple threat HPG — surprise! a former porn star — is quick to claim his work as a piece of fiction, the parallels to his own life are yawningly obvious. A particular Gallic sense of humor may be tickled by the lame grandstanding, but pic’s limited French release will also signal its disappearance. A more fitting title would be “We should not exist in Directors Fortnight.”

More a series of excruciatingly long skits than a plot-driven vehicle, pic opens as HPG decides to ditch his XXX career for greater thesping rewards. At an audition he harangues the students (including heavily-tattooed real wife LZA), finally ending up banging on the gates of the Cinematheque with a giant dildo. Inside, helmer Bertrand Bonello (who cast HPG in his “The Pornographer”), reassures him: “You’re excessive because you lack rigor.” Deep, man. Deliberately (?) inept construction practically highlights the sub-par tech credits, featuring flat lighting and uneven sound.

–Jay Weissberg

We Should Not Exist

France

Production: A Limelight release (in France) of an HPG production, in association with Game Prods. (International sales: Pangea Films Intl., Paris.) Produced by HPG, Laurent Bagnard-Viotti, Patrick Giordano. Directed, written by HPG.

Crew: Camera (color), Reza Serkanian; editor, Nicolas Robin; music, Manu Lanvin; production designer, Guillaume Lemerle. Reviewed at Cannes Film Festival (Directors Fortnight), May 22, 2006. (Original title: On ne devrait pas exister.) Running time: 90 MIN.

With: With: HPG, LZA, Benoit Fournier, Jean-Claude Joerger, Marie-T Picou, Margaret Zenou, Marilou Berry, Rachida Brakni, Bertrand Bonello.

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