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SELLER: Star Jones
LOCATION: East 90th Street (and 2nd Avenue)
PRICE: $2,250,000 (maintenance approx $3,200/month)
SIZE: 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Stunning penthouse triplex with huge roof terrace. First floor: 2 bedrooms with full bath. Second floor: Large living room, dining area with gas burning fireplace, kitchen, powder room. Second floor master bedroom suite with dressing room, gold tiled bathroom with sauna and steam. Huge built-in closets thorughout. Third floor: presently used a “party” room off terrace. Can be fourth bedroom and additional bath can be added. Exceptional private terrace with four exposures. Excellent light throughout. Elevator access from first two floors.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: I pulled this one from my archives babies, so I know it’s a little dated. But I’m sorry, I just can’t resist me some Star Jones. I vaguely remember hearing this apartment had been taken off the market, but Your Mama’s memory is not what it used to be, so if anyone has any current 411 on this listing, please let me know.

Anyway, the photos here show how the once fat and now sorta skinny Star Jones lives the good life in New York City. Sure the apartment looks impressive, but let’s get down to brass tacks. This place is a little east to be a prime location. It may only be 4 blocks to Madison Avenue, but that’s a long way if you’re wearing you some Christian Louboutin stilletos…or carrying around some extra weight. And the building, well let’s just say it’s not one of the better buildings uptown.

My favorite photos are of course those of the boudoir and the dressing closet. All those red fuck-me pumps are impressive for sure. And puppies, what about that gold bathtub surround. That is really something, isn’t it? I can just imagine Miss Star Jones luxuriating in a warm milk bath ordering her husband to get her some champagne while she admires her milk chocolate skin in the gold-plated spigot.

And of course all the children want to know if Al gets to keep his clothes in that closet and put his make-up on in that mirror? I don’t see any of his manyly things in these photos so maybe he’s relegated to those bedrooms on the lower floor? I’m not being mean for mean’s sake people, there are questions about this and you know it. But let’s be honest, these lovebirds have lasted far long than any of us jaded folks imagined and bully for them.