BUYER: Kwame Jackson
LOCATION: West 123rd Street (near 7th Avenue)
PRICE: $995,000 (listing price)
SIZE: 1,772 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: The listing agent’s website has lengthy description of the building with such declarations as, “the WOW factor on entry is overwhelming.” And, “The view is priceless.” And, “No cookie cutter units here as we have a mix of 1 simplex, 2 duplexes and a triplex.”
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It is the triplex Your Mama wants to discuss here. According to the Josh Barbanel of the venerable paper of record, the New York Times, this Harlem triplex was purchased by Kwame Jackson.
Before we get into discussing the apartment, Your Mama thinks it might be best to remind you who this Kwame Jackson is, because we did not know either. All you reality show mavens and queens out there might remember Mr. Jackson as that handsome black man who lost out to that skinny white fella on Donald Trump’s The Apprentice a season or two ago. Incendentally, the white fella (name, Bill Rancik) is recently engaged to Juliana Depandi from the E Network. Lahwd children it just makes Your Mama sad she knows that.
Anyhoo, Your Mama is not sure this Mr. Jackson is really a celebrity, but we’re gonna go ahead and tell you a little about him anyway. Apparently this runner up got the booby prize which was being a judge for the Miss Universe pageant. (Good grief babies, just the idea of that makes Your Mama dee-pressed.) Seems Mr. Jackson was fired from this job for greeting the wannabe queens in the lobby of the hotel. Who knew this was against the rules?
So now, according to Mr. Barbanel, in addition to exploring real estate options, this Mr. Jackson goes around giving motivational speeches. About what, we don’t know, and if we’re being honest with the children, we don’t want to. Sorry Mr. Jackson, we don’t intend to be cruel and we certainly understand we all have to make a living any way we can.
So kids, this apartment up in Harlem sounds nice and has a decent floorplan but that’s about all we have to say about it. What more can Your Mama say? Now that we’re way down in this post, we realize, we just don’t care about this man, his motivational speeches, or his new damn apartment. Besides, we’re hungry and we need to get us something to eat now.
SIDE NOTE FROM YOUR MAMA: Because the world is a funny place and there is so often six degrees of separation or less in the world, Your Mama would like all the children to know that in a former life we had a showroom of high-end products for the home and we provided the first season of The Apprentice with a capiz shell screen for the contestant’s living room. And Your Mama would also like you to know, we got no additional business out of it, nor did Donaold Trump give us a call to say thank you.