‘Valley’ girls descent on fete

Cannes gets 'Down' at dance club

Fete for Un Certain Regard entry “Down in the Valley” may have been held at Cannes dance club VIP Room, but the lineup outside of boys with breakaway hairdos that required way too much gel, surgically enhanced bimbos and stream of honking, cruising cars made the scene all-too-eerily like an actual weekend in Tarzana.

Inside the VIP — which amounted to a temporary collection tented party spaces — a DJ in a tower beat the masses into submission with pounding tracks as staffers behind a circular white padded bar doled out the bubbly.

Assuming the fete’s organizers weren’t actually trying to recreate a realistic facsimile of the world’s original cheesy string of suburbs, the “Valley” party nevertheless also managed to give a nod to sunny porn capital Chatsworth by butting up against a Hustler branded strip club.

Across a hallway, an entirely different non-film party raged in full view with go-go dancers in cages hanging from the ceiling and a stage with spaced out, grinding babes.

When Edward Norton and Evan Rachel Wood were ushered to a secluded platform, a stream of Hawaiian Tropic girls in next to nothing came out of the ladies room as if from a clown car.

If only there was a Mel’s diner to stop at on the way home…