Dreary, well-intentioned parallel to life of Christ will have most auds crying “sweet Jesus” well before the credits roll for “Second Coming,” a first effort with more future in church basements than in movie houses.
As Max Von Sydow famously surmised in “Hannah and Her Sisters,” if God’s son returned now, “he’d never stop throwing up.” Some of that misanthropy is evident here, but there’s little of Woody Allen’s mordant humor in this vanity project for co-helmer-scripter Darren Campbell, who also plays an unnamed youngster who arrives from nowhere in L.A., gathers some followers, and gets taken down once local corruption is challenged. Campbell is quietly simpatico as the shaven-headed savior who falls for a Russian hooker (Lucie Laurier) working at his two-bit motel; the overall thesping here ranges from laconic to hysterical. Naturally, there are acolytes with names like Simon and Jude (the latter’s a lawyer, so what would anyone expect?), but it’s hard to tell what the picmakers were hoping to say with this ugly, vid-shot screed. Quantity of static scenes unfolding in real time makes pic’s 95-minute sermon seem even longer.