Here’s licking at you

The news last week that the U.S. Postal Service had issued a Humphrey Bogart postage stamp to huge fanfare and sales sparked the idea that perhaps the hard-drinking, iconoclastic screen legend isn’t the only one-of-a-kind personality who deserves his or her face stuck to a piece of mail.

The post office claims to receive some 40,000 proposals recommending subjects for stamps each year. Here are a few more, with an eye toward showbiz:

  • Jerry Garcia: The onetime heart and soul of the Grateful Dead could adorn a stamp that dissolves under your tongue and spurs hallucinations.

  • Sam Kinison: A standup comedy legend who had his share of substance abuse problems, but who doesn’t? When you lick his stamp, it would scream at you to stop licking it.

  • River Phoenix: The fallen young actor could adorn a stamp that loses its ability to stick to the envelope at a young age.

  • Billy Carter: It may be no coincidence that the microbrew explosion happened shortly after his death. His stamp would naturally taste like hops and barley.

  • Lenny Bruce: If we’re talking about honoring American legends, how can we leave Lenny out? His stamp would taste acidic on the tongue.

  • Joan Crawford: If her daughter can ultimately forgive and forget, then so should America. Her stamp would be made from wire, just for the irony.

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