Confessions of a Sorority Girl” catapults women back to the ’50s, when they were depicted as either whore or Madonna or, in a “perfect” world, both. This Showtime offering, which fails as kitsch or even hyper-soap drama, is more a back-smash than a backlash. The unsettling thing is that seems to be the point.
The second in Showtime’s “Rebel Highway” series, “Confessions of a Sorority Girl” centers on bad-girl Sabrina (Jamie Luner), who is first seen gunning her red Corvette convertible to run over a dyed-pink poodle.
Sabrina is mean. And when she gets to her sorority, she gets even meaner. She claws her way to president, tries to steal nice-girl Rita’s (Alyssa Milano) nice-boy boyfriend (Brian Bloom) and, by the end of the telefilm, has tried to murder them in a fire.
In between Sabrina’s stunts, nothing happens — except for young women bouncing around in bathing suits and halter tops.
“Confessions” looks confident. Under Uli Edel’s direction the movie moves calmly and cooly through its scenes. But the proceedings are too drained of humor to be kitschy (blame goes in part to flat writing from Debra Hill and Gigi Vorgan), and played too straight.
In fact, with the exception of Bloom, who seems flown in from some other, far better flick, the acting is so hollow you could beat the cast with a stick and use it as a percussion section.
Why Showtime thought it appropriate to remake an old “B” movie that portrays women as dependent sex objects may be more a sign of cultural trends than what’s going on in Showtime’s boardroom.