Lassard … George Gaynes
Sgt. Jones … Michael Winslow
Sgt. Tackleberry … David Graf
Cpt. Callahan … Leslie Easterbrook
Cpt. Harris … G.W. Bailey
Kyle Connors … Charlie Schlatter
Rakov … Christopher Lee
Konstantin Konali … Ron Perlman
Katrina … Claire Forlani
Adam … Richard Israel
It’s been five years since Warner last wheeled out the boobs in blue, and the intervening span hasn’t been kind. Seventh “Police Academy” stanza, with the gang taking on the Moscow mafia, is an inept, geriatric romp that’s for completists only. Rental hell looms for this one, which WB sneaked out in the U.K., sans press previews on June 17 and is tentatively due for U.S. release in October.
Law and order is breaking down in Moscow, where top mobster Konstantin Konali (Ron Perlman) has made millions from worldwide sales of a computer game. In desperation, top cop Rakov (Christopher Lee) rings his stateside pal Lassard (George Gaynes), who promptly announces, “Team, we’re off to Russia — to kick many, many buttskies.”
Excuse for a plot has Konali forcing a computer nerd (Richard Israel) to install a device in the game that will give him access to security systems for world domination. While Lassard slides off for some R&R, the troops go undercover.
Jaw-droppingly unfunny antics include Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook) doing a spoof of Michelle Pfeiffer’s piano writhe in “The Fabulous Baker Boys” and bad-cop Harris (G.W. Bailey) dressing up in a tutu for “Swan Lake” at the Bolshoi. A belated car chase around Moscow will amuse anyone with a passing knowledge of the city’s geography.
Filmers lost the script between LAX and Moscow airport: A subplot about a new recruit (Charlie Schlatter) falling for his cute interpreter (Claire Forlani) doesn’t get off the blocks, and the normally reliable Bailey spends most of the pic looking like he’s lost his passport. Michael Winslow’s regular shtick with sound effects is clumsy this time, and Easterbrook is starting to look a tad matronly for her sexpot role.
Tech credits are on the cheesy side, with dialogue that sounds as if it were recorded in a metal tank.