Silliness by the sea prevails in “The Cover Girl Murders.” Plot is so scant, characters so thin, action so slow and budget so tiny that MOW’s chief attribute is opportunity to view a number of attractive actresses in swim suits. Even that’s something of a disappointment, most of the swimwear being quite demure by cable standards. “Baywatch” remains the show of choice for T&A fans, and it’s on broadcast syndication. Resolution is cleverest aspect of story, but too little, too late.
Publishing mogul Rex Kingman (Lee Majors) brings a photog (Adrian Paul) and several top models to remote tropical locations. As girls squabble for the honor of being on the cover of Image magazine’s swimsuit issue, they begin to meet assorted “accidental” deaths. When Kingman recognizes this as a prime exploitation tool, the others (evidently new to publishing) express their uniform disgust.
Few moments of exposition are inserted among long stretches of models preening during first hour, and characterization is nil. Despite the closed-room aspect of its plot and enough red herrings to stock Marineland, “Ten Little Indians” this isn’t.
Pic was evidently shot on a shoestring, evidenced by largely no-name cast (Beverly Johnson, a former top model in real life, is one of the casualties) and a prop budget apparently blown on explosives.
Acting is barely acceptable throughout, no surprise considering the shallowness of the script by Douglas Barr (Majors’ sidekick on “The Fall Guy “) and Bernard Maybeck.
Even Majors, who created a real character as crusty sidekick “Ski” Jablonski on last year’s “Raven,” has nothing to chew on here — not even the scenery, such as it is; underused Mexican locations might as well have been Oxnard.