Late night hosts took the opportunity Wednesday night to skewer Donald Trump after a Tuesday report from the Washington Post stated that Trump wants a military parade.
Stephen Colbert joked in his opening monologue that Trump “is his own competition” in the stupidity realm, referring to him as the “Usain Bolt of stupid” and citing his military parade plan as “record-setting dumb.”
“Check your cards!” he said. “Who has dictator bingo? I was close, I had rallies and attack the free press, I didn’t have military parade.”
“Here’s the thing,” Colbert continued. “Traditionally, America doesn’t do military parades. Normally, if you’re in a city with U.S. tanks rolling down the road, I wouldn’t bring the children.”
He explained that “when you’re the most powerful military in the world, you don’t need to show it off — we know we got a big joint. The founding fathers didn’t want a standing army at all, and military parades were a European fetish — and not the kind Ben Franklin got off on.”
Seth Meyers addressed the report in his “A Closer Look” segment on “Late Night.”
“So you’re just going full dictator now?” Meyers asked. “Just d— wasn’t enough?”
He pointed out the ill timing of a military parade, citing North Korea’s status as a “rogue state,” Russia’s “meddling in our elections,” and the Pentagon’s recent report that climate change is posing a threat to half of all military sites. Meyers also questioned the Pentagon’s willingness to go through with such a parade, noting that Trump had considered adding military vehicles to his inaugural address, and that the Pentagon was seemingly relieved when the plans were abandoned.
Trevor Noah said on “The Daily Show” that a military parade alone doesn’t necessarily mean Trump is becoming a dictator, despite the event being a hallmark of authoritarian regimes like North Korea, the Soviet Union, and China.
“It’s when you look at everything else that your spidey sense started to tingle,” Noah said. “He just this week joked that not clapping for him is treason.”