Just for Variety, the follies and foibles of the boldface names in toons
The Internet is always full of gossip about movie stars. Yet animated characters live their offscreen lives without paparazzi or the prying eyes of the media. Variety‘s Bob Verini imagined what might happen if an intrepid gossip columnist started calling around for the latest on the lives and loves, follies and foibles of animation’s biggest stars.
Don’t Invite to the Same Party: Wallace and Gromit, bitter rivals for the affections of Smurfette….Say a prayer for Kenny, checked into a Colorado hospital for what’s expected to be his 271st consecutive death….Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is coming out of his shell?….Tongues are wagging over Broadway’s newest diva. Stage version of “Frozen” is still in development, and already Elsa is refusing to consider revisions. “Call me Miss Birdseye!,” she snarled last week. Insiders claim besties Belle and Ariel are encouraging their pal’s Mouse House rebellion….
Send a card to Toothless, expecting a molar….Is it just me, or is Barbie a doll?….From the Police Blotter: Popular pitchman Punchy is in custody following a barroom altercation with Kool-Aid Man. Asked whether he wanted “a nice Hawaiian Punch,” the glassy victim unwisely replied “Oh, yeah!” and later required three transfusions of Soarin’ Strawberry-Lemonade at Citrus-Sinai….A star of yesteryear is angling for a comeback. The Grinch is pitching a yarn in which he’d steal another holiday; Arbor Day and Pesach are current frontrunners….
Charlie Brown is badmouthing his childhood pet, but Snoopy refuses to be put down…. Dreamworks is casting “How to Train Your Dragon 3,” but don’t hold your breath for Hiccup… Anyone know how to get ahold of Scooby-Doo?….Today’s Whisper-Whisper: What never-married, always-together male co-stars are giving new meaning to “You’ve Got a Friend In Me”?….Say Farewell: Toucan Sam is being tapped by insurance giant Geico to replace their iconic Gekko, who got the worst of an encounter with a Toyota Prius last week.I guess it’s true—it ain’t easy being green! Tootles from Toontown!