Chuck Lorre to End His Vanity Card Missives?

Chuck Lorre End His Vanity Card

Is No. 463 the end of the line for Chuck Lorre’s famously specific vanity card messages?

Since the days of “Dharma & Greg” in the late 1990s, Lorre has penned a new message to run as part of his vanity card slate at the end of every original episode of his many series. On Monday’s editions of “The Big Bang Theory,” the message indicated that Lorre has decided to end this split-second tradition.

We need to have a serious conversation about these vanity cards. Before we start I just want to make clear that you’ve been great. For something like eighteen years you’ve paused your VCRs and DVRs to read them. Maybe you chuckled. Maybe you shrugged. Maybe one of them made a deep, positive impact on your life. Or, more likely, made you want to mail me a letter dusted with anthrax. Doesn’t matter. The important thing to remember is that this is not about you. It’s me. Gimme a minute. This is hard. Okay, here it is… It’s time for me to stop writing these things. Now before you say anything, just hear me out. The brash young man who liked to jerk a bony knee into the corporate ball sack is no longer brash nor young. The smart aleck who once delighted in twisting the cultural nipple is not feeling so smart anymore, nor is he clear on what an aleck is. And perhaps most telling, the smug word jockey who never missed an opportunity to tickle the establishment prostate sans Astroglide, now finds that metaphor offensive. Which means it’s time to hang it up. It’s time to write the last vanity card. Which is what this is. So… Thank you. It’s been a great ride. I’ll miss our time together. Remember me fondly. All things that never should have happened in the first place must come to an end. Don’t cry for me Argentina. Or West Covina. I miss Andy Rooney. Can anybody explain CBS’s scheduling decisions to me? We are moving into an age where our memory is outsourced. The unknowable can be experienced even though it cannot be articulated. God is everything or God is nothing. Wait, maybe it can be articulated. I’ve taken to wearing frivolous socks. How come there are only porn stars? Where are the porn supporting players? When the noise is constant there is no information. If you’re ever at an awards ceremony and they flash a happy picture of you on a screen while a woman sits nearby playing a lonely cello, it means you’re a ghost watching your In Memoriam. I changed my name in an effort to eradicate what I mistakenly thought was my self. Marriage: one year of flames, thirty years of ashes. I stole that last one from somebody. I don’t remember who. Turns out the Supreme Court was right. Corporations are people. Selfish, unscrupulous people. I’ve been struggling with memory loss and a mysterious, persistent cough. Sometimes in the middle of the night I find myself wondering if I traveled to central Africa and forgot.

 

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  1. Linda Sue Jasa says:

    I feel sorry for you. You have had so much, granted you worked for it, yet you don’t seem happy. I’m disabled, have no money, didn’t have a car for 5 years yet I’m content & happy. Get a grip man! You come across self centered & privileged. Hated your vanity cards because you seemed to want sympathy. Why? You have it all! I worked for years in corporate america & gotshitt, yet I’m happy. Grow up! Sorry for the memory loss & cough. God speed in the next phase of your life. You make your life what it is. Try to be satisfied for once. Life sucks for everyone!

  2. In Big bang Theory Sheldon might have autism .

    • KD says:

      wtf dude, you remind us in card 477 that you swore off the vanity cards, than you said you are trying something new and you solicited our opinion and I watched MOM and looked at 3478… It makes no sense so how can I give you my opinion of something that makes no sense? It is an old pic of you and a Dylan quote. But really ?? seriously give some more detail of what message you are trying to convey so we can comment properly……

  3. for two and a half final season do you plan to have john amos and stacey keach back on and charecters dr linda freeman and jake harper on ?

  4. Teresa says:

    I love your vanity cards! Its the dessert after watching Big Bang Theory! Please don’t take mt dessert away!

  5. escitalopram says:

    Mr. Lorre,
    I lack the talent to develop a script, but I laugh till I cry everyday and keep thinking, I’ve just got to share this comedy gold. An explosion of failure compounded by more failure. Dam it, I’m not stupid, I was just really unlucky. My co-workers all believed in me (relentlessly mocked me) thereby pushing me towards success and I would like to give them something back. It’s genuine.

    Not sorry for contacting you here… after all my humiliation… I’m not worried about it.

    These Variety cats can release my email to you. If this is how it starts, it would be fair, nothing else was easy.

    Thanks

  6. RDTorrez says:

    Thank You Mr. Lorre for taking the time to create and post your Vanity Cards .. even here is small town USA = Delano California I’d like to believe that we have some class … we took time to pause our TV sets to eagerly read what you had to say. We knew that in one way or the other, you would find a way to say what we all could either laugh at or agree with in that interesting way that only you could accomplish! Many times, they became a talking point with our Friday nite friends!
    Many of us here in this town will miss them and wish you would reconsider your decision to end them.

  7. Doug says:

    I hope he is joking , I look forward to the vanity cards after every Episode. it always makes me smile as much as the shows do …

  8. If there is any chance you are reading this Chuck Lorre, I want you to know you inspire me, you make me laugh you make me cry and sometime you have given me hope…How do you do all these things , you ask by writing vanity cards. I love The Big Bang Theory and I look forward to the vanity cards after every Episode.When I read #463 I almost cryid. :( please Dont Stop witing vanity cards, There are many people like me that love them. I dont know if your reading this or not but I couldnt find a way to email you and trust me I looked. I was even going to pay on a site that said it would give me your home addess. But I knew it was a scam so I didnt. Anyway I hope this gets back to you some how. Because I will really miss reading your work. Love Always one of your #1 fans Amy R Holloway

  9. Emma says:

    Chuck – I don’t know how folks were supposed to reply to your end-of-cards – as I didn’t see any post about how to provide comments. I have a couple of faves. I find nearly each one to have either something confusing or a reminder of freedom of speech that is refreshing when not stymied. I get ticked when someone sticks the proverbial MUTE in anyone’s mouth as this is SUPPOSED to be America, land of the free – especially free speech. I’m aware of the shoelaces you had available (versus a length of rope), to hang yourself under CBS (seems a bit hypocritical – although they do have my favorites shows). You do a beautiful job at speaking conundrums and truths. I will miss them – gee… here I was pausing all the shows and getting out my glasses to read them – when I could have found them all online!

    I don’t think you should nor will truly be silenced. It’s great to see glimmers of the man behind the scenes – truly makes me want to know more about you. I like interesting people that are not watered down shadows by life’s sandpaper. Your commends remind me of when I would read Lenny Bruce back in the same days you would have (I’m just 1 year younger than you!). We need more brave voices heard and less public vomiting and blackmail over free speech – people are being chased down rabbit holes just for sharing personal opinions! That results in a huge loss for all of us under the guise of equality. How can we all become equal when media and activist groups avoid using generic descriptions such as PEOPLE, MEN, WOMEN, Police, Victims – rather than black victims, white police…. stop fanning the flames folks! Are we not PEOPLE first? Are there not people of all backgrounds that need help or can provide help? What if we made a program that actually mirrored how news would look like if it was reported without adjectives that flame or limit any age, race, or religion? What would that look like? We could get angry because POLICE are abusing power on their COMMUNITITES. We could get angry because POOR PEOPLE are getting shorted in education and work. I heard that the ARMY isn’t accepting people that didn’t graduate from High School anymore – which was one avenue of training and hope for STUDENTS that didn’t meet this marker.

    Shame shame shame on those that apply financial blackmail for opinions that they don’t like. Since we are talking about freedom…. Why do African American’s call themselves Niggers and Bitches and it’s okay – but when someone else uses the word it’s hateful? Since when did using adjectives – regardless of how disgusting or inflammatory or rude or ignorant – become a sin so great as to ruin someone’s life when the people initiating their demise are opening showing hate rather than opportunity to educate?

    I just don’t understand this! And I’ve lived in countries where the color of my hair, eyes, skin, and gender, even country of origin made me a target for violence.

    Okay, okay – back to you. SPEAK please. Your eloquence and inferences delight or shake up my brain – and I want more of this in my daily diet.

  10. Steven Y says:

    Damn, Chuck! Quit whining!

    So here is an indication for you. I read your vanity cards all the time and always record the programs. I am only 73 years old now The cards are a welcome adjunct and give us plebians a sense of intimacy with you that is rare even in the era of social media.

    I for one will read as long as you write … and have now found the archive after spending five precious minutes searching for your email address — which god knows you may or may not ever read.

    Perhaps you should publish the archive in a monograph… If you do, send me a copy!! STIC !

    BTW – I sent the above to your (apparently cancelled) email at bigbang.net along with my Name/Addr/Phone but the mail came back undeliverable (No, I did not really expect a repy).

    P.S.: STIC = Semi Tongue-in-Cheek

  11. Michelle K. says:

    Dear Mr Lorre,
    As I was un sure where to message you I’m not sure you will even see this. With all the Crap going on in society there days, I need my 30 min. Shows for laughs! Your vanity cards are always honest and to the point, even with politics. It is your decision whether you continue or not, but I guarantee there are a lot of people that enjoy them but don’t know how to reach you to let you know! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting me thru a lot of tough times in my life with laughter! Good luck &God Bless!

  12. Beth says:

    Mr Lorre,
    For years, I’ve really enjoyed your vanity card at the end of your shows! Thank you, not only for wonderful tv shows, but also to the sharing of your views with your vanity cards (which I must say I mostly really agree with you!). I understand you must be tired of composing these “cards”, but I truly hope that you would continue them. If not…thank you for them! They will be fondly remembered, but as a fan, I still want more!!!! Again thanks!
    A fan,
    Beth

  13. BIG BANGer since 2007 says:

    Maybe giving up the Vanity Cards is a good idea. Maybe this will allow Mr. Lorre full unfettered attention to BIG BANG’s scripts which, so far this new season, have felt decidedly “Meh”.

    • Emma says:

      Now now now… We can’t have all our new season opener shows bring us to the emotional levels that the disgusting opener did for Criminal Minds. While I will admit the opener took some adjustments with Penny’s new hair do – and Sheldon’s return. The lines are always great. I think the gang is trying to mature just a little – as we all do to some degree. I found the BBT opener refreshing – and getting acquainted again as the characters, like us, went thru some changes over summer. I LOVED the BBT this week with the gals in Vegas.

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