Ellie Goulding, Katy Perry and Lorde
Dave M. Benett/Getty Images

The Arctic Monkeys got the audience hot and bothered Feb. 19, as they opened the 34th BRIT Awards in London’s gargantuan O2 Arena.

The mercury rising was less their burning rendition of “R U Mine?” and more literal, thanks to their giant initials ablaze and adorning the stage.

Accepting the first of two nods, lead Monkey Alex Turner boycotted standard awards’ etiquette to much applause, saying, “There’s a lot of people who require thanks for this, but they need to hear their name read out as much as you need to hear a list of people you don’t know,” he said.

Outside of performances from the likes of Beyonce (performing “XO” for the first time televised), Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers, and the kudos, matchmaking was the night’s hot topic.

Host James Corden attempted to pair the newly single Kylie Minogue, joking, “There are a couple of members of One Direction who are single now. Although I’m pretty sure for Harry Styles, you’re still a little too young.” Corden also drew uncomfortable looks from the 1D boys, when he sidled up to their table and joked about Justin Bieber. “Did you tell him what guys do to people who look like him in prison?” Corden said.

In true BRITs style, when the kudofest closed a plethora of music labels’ parties rose across the capital.

The Warner Music troop headed to The Savoy, whilst Universal Music shipped their guest cargo along the Thames to the plush, new One Embankment venue where trio Ellie Goulding, Lorde and Katy Perry took to the decks for an epic set.

Winner Goulding proved she was more in tune with singing than mixing, as she mashed up her single “Burn” for revellers. Quickly cutting off with, “That’s enough of that, it sounds like shit.”

Keen to matchmake single Goulding, Perry attempted to pair her with anybody willing. Perry gave her relationship advice over the mic, “We need men as much as they need us.” Goulding chimed in a gleeful retort, “You’d know, Katy!”

With the night still young, the best Brit band of boys, Bastille, concluded celebrations with a revival of their gigging days — leaving the glamour of Universal’s bash to end the night in Brixton, at gritty venue JAMM, in true rock ‘n’ roll grime.

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