Awards Excess
Ryan Inzana

The compressed frenzy over the past jam-packed days of Award Season has raised some questions and some observations:

1. The hands-down winner for most annoying person: The individual who kisses you and then casually reveals that he or she is sick. Runners-up: The chronic coughers who always sit behind me.

2. Yes, there is something goofy about centering your entire life around awards. There is something equally goofy about awards season revolving around football. God forbid any group would schedule an event on Super Bowl Sunday.

3. My adrenaline is totally out of whack. After an intense season that started in late August, I hit the wall Saturday before the SAG Awards. I felt like a marathon runner reading a sign saying he was at mile 20. But the adrenaline started racing again on Sunday night when Ben Affleck announced that the PGA winners were a tie. During awards season, THIS is the kind of announcement one desires.

4. Film clip are crucial to awards shows, but often the studio supplies the same scene to multiple ceremonies. Try to vary them, folks! The Producers Guild showed two montages that were ideal: Eon and Empire Design provided a three-minute look at 50 years of James Bond, while Weta Digital showed how it creates effects. Each was amazing, and made you want to jump up and see those films. This is the underlying goal of all awards ceremonies, but sometimes endless acceptance speeches can blur that goal.

5. Acceptance speeches: Make them brief or make them interesting. Rita Moreno was a knockout as she spoke/sang her thoughts on SAG’s Life Achievement award. A few minutes later, Cate Blanchett was hilarious. Even after winning so many awards, each of her speeches is different — and spontaneous. Multiple announcements at the Shrine warned that speeches should be brief because the show was running long. Blanchett started her thanks, looked at the monitor and exclaimed “29 seconds? Matthew McConaughey was talking about Neptune!!”

This goes for presenters as well. Before handing out the final award at the Critics’ Choice Awards Jan. 16, Julia Roberts deadpanned, “This has been like some strange Fellini movie that I forgot was in my Netflix queue.”

6. Serious question: When do voters get to see a movie these days? Every spare moment seems to be consumed with a party or awards show.

7. Tip your waiter: The food staff at the Hilton deserve every award in the book. They are able to feed 1,000 tense individuals in a short time, in very tight space. And they remain far cheerier than I would.

8. I am thinking about awards entirely too much. On Sunday, I saw a bunch of tweets about  Richard Sherman’s rant. Seattle Seahawks weren’t even on my radar. For a few moments, I just assumed they were talking about the “Mary Poppins” songwriter — wondering if he was upset because “Saving Mr. Banks” only earned one nomination.

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