8 Strange Moments from James Franco’s New Book

What do Elizabeth Taylor, Lindsay Lohan and James Franco have in common? They’re all prominently featured in James Franco’s new book, “Hollywood Dreaming.”

His sixth book won’t hit bookshelves until Sept. 23, but Variety took an early peek to pick out some of the most notable snippets in the collection of stories, photos and poems, which is broken up into three parts, along with an introduction.

There’s a section titled “Sprang Brake,” in which Franco seems to channel his “Spring Breakers” character Alien. There are no fewer than four different poems about Sean Penn. There’s some inside information on what went down before the Oscars that he hosted with Anne Hathaway. And there’s a lot of Lindsay Lohan.

The entire volume clocks in at 174 pages, so there’s plenty more than what’s featured here, including bits about Franco’s life and childhood.

Warning: Some NSFW language and content below.

From “Becoming: An Introduction”
I’m all characters in one: Mickey Mouse (the Leader, the Moral Guide); Minnie Mouse (tha’s my sexual, sensitive side); Donald Duck (tha’s my angry side, the part of me who gonna fight, but not in a bully way, in a fun/stupid way); Goofy (fo’ sure, tha’s me, when you’re goofy you have bouncy padding all around you, you the foo’ and you can do anything, go anywhere, and say anything because yo’ goofiness is yo’ protection).

From “Elizabeth Taylor”
Poor Monty, he became a shadow,
A slouched figure in too-big pants.
You got big and drunk and weird,
You went on “General Hospital.”

From “Sean II”
In “Milk,” you were such
A fine homo. And when
You and I kissed
On Castro Street, it was for a full minute.
Your beard was like my father’s.

From “The Voice of Lindsay Lohan” (told from the perspective of Lohan)
I took James back to the bathroom.
“You know why Amy put mirrors all around in here?”
“Why?”
“So you can watch yourself fuck.”
He didn’t fuck me, that shit.

From “Like a Mug Shot”
You see, this place is hot all year round, like hell,
And I be the Debil rulin’ the roost, Satan Claus
With dem ho, ho, hoes

From “Dope Boyz”
In the film I play a rapper slash gangster,
I’m a G to the end–that’s a G for gangster
But it’s also a whole lifestyle. There’s this guy
Named Riff Raff, who claims I used him.

From the short story “Grand Illusion”
Shrimp fell in love with the girl gelfling, Kira. She had such a sweet face. Almost no nose, and beautiful blond hair. Later, Shrimp realized she was a puppet.

From “Bungalow 89”
I was so unhappy about the Oscar rehearsals because they had cut my Cher sequence–I was supposed to sing the song from “Burlesque,” “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me,” dressed as Cher–that I didn’t meet with Lindsay [Lohan] for the photos. Later she leaked a false story to the press that Terry [Richardson] was shooting a sex book involving her and me. Hilarious.

The book will be available via publisher Insight Editions on the Insight Editions website, Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

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