Kelly Osbourne Settles Above Sunset Strip

BUYER: Kelly Osbourne
LOCATION: Los Angeles, Calif.
PRICE: $2 million
SIZE: 2,538 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMA’S NOTES: Although she’s owned a Robert Byrd-designed pad just behind the perennially chic Chateau Marmont since 2005, in early 2013 Kelly Osbourne was shacked up in a West Hollywood rental condo across the hall from glam-rocker Adam Lambert. That spring, instead of moving back to her tiny house above the Sunset Strip, Miss Osbourne — then lavender-maned and engaged to a vegan chef — decamped to a rented house in the Beverly Hills Post Office previously and (in)famously occupied by promising teenaged starlet-turned-Tinseltown cautionary tale Lindsay Lohan.

The Rock ‘n’ Roll scion, reality TV star and popular if semi-controversial sartorial pundit — she’s a full-time panelist on “Fashion Police” — called off her nuptials in early 2014 and listed her humble if not exactly inexpensive one-bedroom starter house behind the Chateau Marmont for $1.349 million; the glammed-out house quickly sold it for $1.3 million. Miss Osbourne, now 30 and in the public eye her entire life, soon sought a home of her own and, over the summer, we’ve just now learned from real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak, who really is the Christmas gift that just keeps on giving and giving and giving, made an until now under-the-radar $2 million purchase of a two-story hillside residence near the end of a very narrow lane in the celebrated, so-called and celebrity-approved “Birds Streets” neighborhood. Property records show the seller was real estate investor Drew McCourt, one of the four sons of bitterly divorced former Dodgers owners Frank and Jamie McCourt.

Listing details show the boxy, stucco-sided residence was originally erected in the early 1960s and is currently configured with three bedrooms and three bathrooms in 2,538 square feet. An unusually and unexpectedly generous lower-level foyer leads up to the main living spaces on the upper floor. Medium-tone brown hardwood floors extend throughout the open-plan space where there’s a pea-green tiled chimney, a wall-mounted flat screen television and a series of floor-to-ceiling corner windows in the lounge area.

Your Mama can’t say we care for the clunky, two-tone cabinetry treatment, but we do recognize the long and slender galley kitchen is expensively equipped with (admittedly ho-hum) granite countertops and high-grade stainless steel appliances that include side-by-side fridge/freezers. A small terrace off the formal dining room has a-through-the-wires canyon view and glass doors in the dining space that adjoins the kitchen open to the backyard and swimming pool.

One window-lined bedroom appears in listing photographs — at least it does to this eggnog-imbibing property gossip — to have been used by the seller as an office/library space, and the master bedroom is wrapped in floor-to-ceiling custom plywood paneling. Honestly, children, we’re down with the checkerboard-y plywood paneling. We could totally make that work. The luxe but generic high-end hotel suite day-core, however, seems like an ill-suited lover to the plywood. But that’s neither here nor there to Miss Osbourne, who may (or may not) drag in the Osbourne family’s longtime design guru and decorator, Martyn Lawrence Bullard. Anyhoo, the master bathroom has lots of points and angles that lend it a masculine — or maybe “masculine” — edge, and it has a convenient if not particularly private glass door that leads out to the pool terrace.

The compact backyard is jam-packed with an essentially oval swimming pool and slightly raised spa surrounded by flagstone terracing. There’s barely enough room at the spa end of the pool for a couple of sun loungers, and at the other there’s a built-in barbecue tightly wedged in to a corner and close enough to the pool’s edge that Your Mama might suggest Miss Osbourne not booze it up while working the barbecue lest she topple over into the pool with the slightest bobble on her poolside stilletos.

Perhaps (or perhaps not) it has something to do with the much hyped six- or eight-episode reprisal of the family’s pioneering reality show (“The Osbournes”) reported to film and air in 2015, but it seems the music and television industry family seems to want to stick pretty close together these days. Kelly’s sister Aimee’s house, which she bought from Steven Spielberg’s stepdaughter Jessica Capshaw in 2007, is next door to Kelly’s new digs and, earlier this year for exactly $4 million, the parental Osbournes quietly snatched up a mid-floor condo at the celeb-stacked Sierra Towers complex that’s less than a mile down the hill from from Kelly and Aimee. Only Jack resides at a distance: In May he sold a lovely house in Los Feliz for $3.2 million and purchased a bigger and newly built (mac)mansion in Studio City, also for $3.2 million.

Listing photos: Hilton & Hyland

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  1. Viva Fabulous says:

    The House is in an interesting spot up Doheny in a shared driveway where houses have like the Address then a 1/2 or 1/4 after them which hers does…… parking is sketchy…. hill behind, no view except of Trees and very blah drive up… That Bullard better get this fierce ways a busy quick!

  2. Jamiekins says:

    This house is what I would think Ms. rainbow hair Osbourne lived in. It is rather odd that it doesn’t seem as horrid from the front or inside as it does in the back where it appears to look more like a double wide trailer property.
    Unlike many I suppose, I do not think of freaky OZZY as a scion of anything, not the least of which
    would I call him NOBLE. I never liked his music at all yet somehow he has jockeyed a position in music history. Just not my cup of tea I suppose.
    I have always thought of all of them as but a misaligned cluster of dark stars vomiting on the firmament at best. The idea of miss purple hair being on fashion anything is ridiculous to me, almost laughable. Her Mother used to look as bad if not worse than her daughter. At least the Adams family could be called original.
    I never imagined any of them had any taste or purpose whatsoever but to frighten the general public if one happened upon them in an innocent encounter.
    Now of late, by fair means or foul they have had a striking revelation that they actually have some taste and are expecting everyone else not to have noticed that for decades they looked like asylum inmates with too much milk money for hideous nail polish and hair dye.
    One of the odd things about people in the BIZ is that just because they gave up their conscience and
    any scrap of human spirit they possessed they think they can pull off anything and make all and sundry believe everything they say forever. I would, if truth be told, pass up fame and fortune if the best I could do is present the image these people have for the last 20 years. If someone figures out how to conjure up the dark force and turn it into success and fame it need not necessarily mean that everyone in their family has something to offer.
    The idea of any company pandering to the lowest common denominator of society by producing more of The Osbournes reality nightmare is breathtaking to me. With all of creation set before us, how is it that this is the obtuse choice of Hollywood ?

  3. Desert Donna says:

    This is what I love about celebrity real estate. I would never in a million years want my daughter living in this place with neighbors looking down on her if I was Ossie and his hag wife. Doesnt Kelly make any dough? Even if this is a tear down she could have gone up another 2 and got a much better lot or home?? Sorry to be b*tchy but the threat of coal under the tree has lifted.

  4. Rabbi Hedda LaCasa says:

    Mama, you are our gift that keeps on giving!

    In the right hands, perhaps Bullard’s, Ms. Osbourne’s new home could sensitively be restored to a level surpassing its originally modest mid-century mien. With current furnishings as examples, the counter stools, and the arm chair with ottoman on the covered balcony are 1960s congruent, while the ersatz 18th century dining room and 1980s breakfast set appear to be Staging Lady’s leftovers! I also appreciate the master bedroom panelling (is it Philippines mahogany?); however, art mounted above a bed is a potential casualty in earthquake country and was therefore verboten in my mama’s assisted living facility. And per my Jameson-besotted memory, pea green in the 60s was known as avocado.

    Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year to Mama and her loved ones, and to all of the Kinderlach!

    • lil' gay boy says:

      Rebbe, indeed!

      And I haven’t seen that shade of avocado since we sold our Poconos home with its original appliances…

      It’s unfortunate that it clashes with Ms. Osborne’s lavender hair though (although the wall by the pool is a spot on match!)


      • owen says:

        Zzzz for the ever-blabberous Rabbi, not Lil’. Accidentally hit the wrong “reply” option.

      • owen says:

        Huh? Zzzzz.

      • Rabbi Hedda LaCasa says:

        Merry Christmas LGB & BGD!

        In the 1960s, we remodeled our early 20th century Trenton kitchen during an Atlantic City vacation. We returned home to atomic Formica countertops and coppertone apliances, which while fabulous did not in retrospect compliment our Edwardian-era home. A few weeks later, Cousin Hannah, who worked at Bond Clothiers Times Square (remember the huge billboard with the waterfall?), came down to visit with a coppertone electric can opener gift. Better Homes and Gardens, religiously read in my family, soon featured harvest gold and then avocado. With all due respect to your vacation home memories, my mama and I never actually understood avocado as a design choice!

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