SELLER: Colbie Caillat
LOCATION: Westlake Village, CA
PRICE: $1,799,000
SIZE: 3,603 square feet, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms

YOUR MAMA’S NOTES: Several little birdies landed in Your Mama’s inbox early this morning to let us know that mainstream pop music singer/songwriter Colbie Caillat listed her fairly modest if hardly inexpensive home in Westlake Village, CA, with an asking price of $1,799,000.

Truth be told, this property gossip wouldn’t know one of Miss Caillat’s songs if it came up and chewed our pudgy leg off but Your Mama’s mainstream pop music ignorance certainly hasn’t stop the young lady from taking home two Grammys or having the financial wherewithal in November 2010, when she was just in her mid 20s, to shell $1.6 million for a well-appointed if fairly ordinary house in an affluent community about 40 miles west of downtown Los Angeles. Shoot, children, give her some credit where credit is due. Fer chrissakes, when Your Mama was in our mid-20s we were shacked up with two roommates — one a staunch vegan the other a young lesbian — in a dirt cheap 600-square-foot two bedroom on the fourth floor of nearly derelict walk-up tenement on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.

Current digital marketing materials show the 3,603-square-foot residence, a mixy-matchy if somewhat generic jumble of architectural tropes and notions, was built in 1995 and is currently configured with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms plus an attached three car garage.

A deep and admittedly inviting porch leads to double, Dutch-style front doors that open directly into a combination entry/living/dining area. The perfectly prosaic inlaid beige stone tile in the entry area switches to medium brown wood in the living room where a multi-paned glass slider opens to the front porch. Now, let’s deal with the obvious elephant in that room, shall we? There are few architectural — ahem — efforts that Your Mama loathes more than an poorly conceived pony wall. Indeed, Rule #19 in “Your Mama’s Big Book of Decoratin’ Does and Don’ts” expressly states that, “Unless for structural necessity, pony walls are to be avoided at all costs.” So y’all can imagine the deep well of resentment Your Mama has for that useless double wide monster that divides the living and dining areas in Miss Caillot’s house. Probably it can be removed but that’s not really the point, is it?

The granite-topped, distressed eggshell toned raised panel cabinetry in the well-equipped center island kitchen veers towards a ho-hum Shabby Chic while the full collection of high-grade stainless steel appliances, including a wino-friendly full-height wine fridge, are decidedly more sybaritic. The kitchen opens to both an informal dining area with two walls of French doors covered with plantation-style shutters and a compact family room with catty-corner brick fireplace. Sliding glass doors connect to the outdoor entertainment areas that include a meandering flagstone terrace, a vine-laden covered terrace, a lagoon-like swimming pool and spa with rock waterfall and slide, a patch of grass, a built-in bbq and — because, apparently, no well-dressed backyard is without one anymore — a fire pit.

Miss Caillat converted another to a kind of make-shift music studio with some sort of pesky fabric hanging over the walls, presumably for sound baffling, and another of the bedrooms is not very privately located behind French doors just inside the front door. The master suite has a used brick fireplace, some built-in cabinets that identically match those in the kitchen, two walk-in closets, over-sized plantation-blind covered windows and direct access to the backyard through a plantation-shutter covered glass door. The roomy but ordinary attached bathroom has a dedicated make-up vanity, jetted tub and separate shower. And upstairs, flexible-use room was decked out by Miss Caillat as a fitness studio but might also work as an office, a Pilates studio or, worst-case scenario, man cave.

We really don’t have any inside intel on Miss Caillat’s future real estate plans but our research shows she still owns a house in Tarzana (CA) — some resources suggest her parents lived there — that was on the market last year for $1,399,000.

Listing photos: JohnHart Corp.

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