TV Review: Syfy’s ‘Naked Vegas’

Naked Vegas TV Review on Syfy

Series from the producers of 'Duck Dynasty' stumbles where that show succeeded -- namely, in the casting process

Seriously, “Naked Vegas?” As titles go, isn’t that kind of redundant? Still, this series from the producers of “Duck Dynasty” immediately stumbles where that program succeeded — namely, in the casting process. Focusing on a body-painting business in Sin City, the enterprise is unfortunately headed by Kelly “Red” Belmonte, who — in her animated, eye-rolling, too-frequent direct-to-camera interviews — appears to be auditioning for the Annie Potts role in a remake of “Ghostbusters.” Survive those, and you’ll get to see people strip down and have their bodies painted, but frankly, whatever movie with a similar-sounding name currently airing on Cinemax is probably more entertaining.

Not to be confused with Discovery’s “Naked & Afraid,” Belmonte’s Skin Team (heh heh) includes Nicholas “Nix” Herrera, a veteran of Syfy’s “Face Off.” Yet most of the focus is on the boss, who comes across as far too eager to please as the gang race through two projects with the requisite impossible deadlines.

In the first, Belmonte and company body paint a trio of lingerie models (including the marketer of the line) who are using body-painted versions of the clothes to showcase the naughty undergarments. Why on Earth someone would market their product without including the actual goods in the display makes about as much sense as everything else here, but without the concocted drama, there wouldn’t be much excuse for the show.

The second case features a couple who met at a haunted house and want to wear zombie makeup for their wedding at Eli Roth’s Goretorium at Planet Hollywood. Belmonte (OK, the producers more likely) convinces them to go the whole nine yards and have their entire bodies decked out, after easing the groom’s concerns that his most important honeymoon accessory won’t be left flapping in the breeze.

While there’s undeniable artistry at work and some finely chiseled flesh — and an inherent come-on in dressing it only in a thin layer of paint — nothing here is distinctive enough to merit sitting through an hour. (Future episodes, incidentally, promise Penn & Teller and a Playboy lingerie party.)

Syfy has done a reasonably clever job of expanding its brand to include unscripted programming — a pragmatic decision, given the expense of scripted sci-fi fare, which usually incorporates more fiction than science. That said, chalk this up as another one of those instances where what happens in “Vegas” really should stay there.

TV Review: Syfy's 'Naked Vegas'

Production

Produced by Gurney Prods.

Crew

Executive producers, Deirdre Gurney, Scott Gurney. 60 MIN.

Cast

Featuring: Kelly "Red" Belmonte, Nicholas "Nix" Herrera

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  1. I love the redhead and the blue eyes kill me…so hot

  2. Terri RIOUX says:

    Right on Little Lady! Some people don’t have the courage to try to follow a dream, so they spend their time tearing down those that do in order to feel better about their lives.
    Kelly has an amazing artistic ability, and I think it’s beautiful that she’s sharing it.
    Bring on more episodes!

  3. PB says:

    just letting all of you haters out there that this is RED’S acual daughter and i believe that the show waas great and she is a real body painter!!!!!!!!!!!! DDDDDUUUUUUHHHHH cant you tell with her got given talent to be an amazing artist. you all think u are so funny hating on this amazing person who is just trying to make her dream come true. I know for a fact that you had a dream and you would do anything to make it come true. This man that is trying so hard to bring my mother’s confidence down? REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW what a jerk move you are so fat that it is deadly. Like seriously get a life. I bet you it is real fun saying all of these things about my mom behind a screen. UUUUUHHHHH news flash no one cares about what you say because it is garbage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they would rather read an 11 YEAR OLD write a true and thoughtful responce to this obease monster. Nd i also wanted to thank all of the people who really enjoyed this peice of art my mom really enjoyed it.

  4. Connie says:

    I think we watched two different shows! Rather than your scathing and self-righteous, overbearing critique (perhaps the stock ticker would be more to your liking), I found the show delightful! I thoroughly enjoyed the people- ALL of them. I enjoy the sense of life of the artists as well as the unique clientele that their business attracts. I found the skill of the artists to be crazy-good! And I *loved* that Red is an artist who leads with her heart- as many artists do. She genuinely cared about her clients, and was keenly aware that the quality of the results were not only a reflection of her personally, and also of the business and other artists, but were of great personal significance to the individuals who were invested in the quality of the work that was performed in the shop. If you hate artists, are morally outraged at the thought of someone wearing paint rather than layers of clothing, find the human body to be dirty and offensive, and long for your front pew, apron, and pearls, then you may not have a sense of life that will allow you to appreciate the artistry of this show. Bravo to all. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!

  5. D.Rioux says:

    I thought the show was cool! Being reviewed by someone without talent kind of sucks.

  6. Loretta Weolsh says:

    Love the show, love the concept, the artistry was PHENOMENAL, but I have to agree that Red did not come across as genuine, but more like someone trying to “act” in a reality show, she felt scripted. The body painters however were funny, likeable and interesting. They should host the show.

  7. Countryluva says:

    I liked the show because of how beautiful and creative their art work.was. Can’t wait to watch it next week.

  8. GiantsCauseway says:

    There is no naked here.
    It’s unappealing people doing stupid things.
    I watched after the creative “face-Off” & was bored to tears.
    The phoney deadline baloney is way over done, you’re doing bodypaint, not trauma surgery on a 3 year-old,

  9. Mortez says:

    Worst Review Ever … Brian Lowry either lacks proper understanding to comprehend the meaning behind the show or is stuck with backward thinking. According to him “nothing here is distinctive enough to merit sitting through an hour”. Well, in my opinion, the show Naked Vegas goes well beyond just portraying day to day activities of a body paint shop. It presents an entrepreneurial flare ignited by “Red”, the owner of the shop. I did not enjoy the show because it was about body painting. I enjoyed the show because “Red” took the existing idea of conventional body painting to a whole new level. Naked Vegas has been able to start properly capturing this process by creating a fantastic first episode.

  10. irene says:

    She didn’t know what areola is! That’s shocking!and to have everyone redo what’s already covered .areola. ..was insane to watch. How come all of those artists didn’t recognize that the areola is not your chest area?

    • Dbritton says:

      This show is horrible!!! I love face off and to be followed up by this crap…? Take you fake contacts out and put the script down, Kelly . Just started watching the syfy, and just this show just abliterated any respect I had for it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the producers canceled this shit. Try a pilot first. Please give me my 15 mins back!!!

      • Dustin says:

        So right – First off RED humm wonder if she is an actual body painter? THOUGHTS?
        i wonder what those tacky producers told the cast, perhaps things like ” it will be your show” or “I’ll make you famous” maybe they should bring in A&E to have them fix this show like they did on DUCK as the pilot was un airable and tested poorly – the company does not have the goods to do anything smart, or with story and art. Can wait for the the rest of FAKED VEGAS

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