Hollywood & Swine Humor: 'Carrie Diaries'

Hollywood and Swine: This content was not produced by Variety, but we find it very funny

In the latest of a string of copycat crimes following the criminal in New Mexico who broke into actor Bryan Cranston’s car and stole a script for his hit drama “Breaking Bad,” a thief in Burbank this morning broke into a car belonging to a staff writer on the CW’s “The Carrie Diaries,” and stole a copy of the show’s season finale, only to return it hours later with extensive notes.

(From the pages of the April 9 issue of Variety.)

According to the thief, 28-year-old Edgar Santos, like most of America, he wasn’t even aware there was a series prequel to “Sex and the City” currently on television when he broke into the car belonging to “Carrie Diaries” staff writer, Kirk Malloy.

“After reading the episode’s mediocre dialogue and plot, I decided that maybe I should stop breaking into people’s cars and try my hand as a television writer,” Santos told Hollywood & Swine from his cell at L.A. County Jail, where he’s currently residing following his arrest. “Unfortunately I learned after reading the most recent Writers Guild report that there was a better chance of me stealing a good script for ‘The Carrie Diaries’ than there would be for a minority writer to land a staff job on a television show.”

Producers of “The Carrie Diaries” admitted they were impressed by Santos’ notes and are considering offering him a job as a writer’s assistant. Among the tasks he’d be required to perform include taking notes during story meetings, getting coffee and, most importantly, keeping an eye on writers’ cars so thieves don’t break into them.

Upon learning of Santos breaking into his car and then returning the stolen script, “The Carrie Diaries” staff writer Malloy said, “As I writer I can handle people breaking into my car and stealing my stuff. But the only thing that really pisses me off is when people give me notes.”

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