Lines That Didn’t Make ‘The Client List’ Review

Today, I offered my mostly positve review of “The Client List,” the new series starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as a Texas mom who begins turning tricks to make (financial) ends meet.

THR_TheClientList1This has resulted in a few emails from people asking if A) I have lost my friggin’ mind, and/or B) whether someone is holding a loved one hostage.

So a brief explanation about the way I review things, and a key word: Context. “The Client LIst” isn’t “Downton Abbey,” but nor does it pretend or aspire to be. It’s meant to be amiable trash, and on that level, it delivers in just the way it intends to.

I would contrast this, in fact, with something like ABC’s “Scandal,” which many critics appear to be dismissing as laughable, but fun. The distinction, from where I sit, is that “Scandal” actually takes itself seriously, whereas “Client List” clearly doesn’t.

Still, for all the puns I chewed up in my review, I didn’t get to use all of them. And since I have this handy blog, consider this the DVD extras version, with lines that didn’t make the cut:

This might be the first series where after watching it, you’ll feel like leaving a few one-dollar bills on the nightstand.

If Lifetime is really savvy about this, they’ll stage promotional events throughout the country, with an over-priced two-drink minimum. 

The only thing missing from the pilot is a cameo by Current’s Eliot Spitzer. Then again, maybe they’re saving that for sweeps.

… thanks to star Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose episodic TV career has taken her from “The Ghost Whisperer” to “The Whore Whisperer.” (To be fair, I stole this one from one my colleagues.)

Doing the show on Lifetime, of course, forces Hewitt and her fellow employees to change behind a gauzy screen, but then again, that’s why God invented DVD extras.

If this works, one suspects there are going to be some serious alterations to the wardrobe on “Army Wives.”

I’m not sure what this makes the viewer, but many of you are going to love “The Client List” a long time.

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