“The Big Bang Theory”
Highlight: A despairing Amy craves intimacy. “Proposal, one wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and enflames my loins.” A flustered Sheldon: “Counterproposal, I will gently stroke your head and repeat, ‘Awww, who’s a good Amy?'” “How about this?” she replies. “French kissing. Seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base.” She accepts his final offer of cuddling. Pause. Amy: “I’m just sayin’, second base is right there.”
Highlight: Control freak Claire obtains supermarket security footage to prove husband Phil pushed her into a pile of cans. “It really wasn’t that much trouble. I just went to the store, found your friend Jordan the bag boy, who got me the manager. He gave me the address of the off-site security office. I filled out some paperwork. Sally faxed it to corporate, three minutes later I’m buying a pack of DVDs and burning a copy. Cake!”
Highlight: In her final days and at last aware of her neighbors’ affection, Wisteria Lane’s curmudgeon decides to give back. At Bree’s trial she confesses to Alejandro’s death, articulating the series’ theme: “Let me tell you something about neighborhood. It’s not just a bunch of houses in the same place. It’s a community….And these wonderful people I’ve lived beside, they’re my family. When you’re in a family, like me and the girls, you protect each other.”
Highlight: Fiery Gloria, who dotes on over-the-top Latin telenovela “Fire and Ice,” is thrust into a real life Telemundo tizzy when a south of the border adoption goes wrong. She breathlessly translates the melodrama for aspiring parents Cam and Mitch: “Somebody told the grandmother about the baby, and she wasn’t supposed to know! If you ask me, it was the sexy priest.”
Highlight : The world’s self-described worst breaker-upper must read aloud from scrawled notes in a church pew while giving fiance Lenny the heave-ho. “Lenny: You’re a great-looking guy. Hold on, do-over. Lenny: I’ve never been to Paris. By myself. I can’t be with you until I be with me. Wait, no. . .”
“Saturday Night Live”
Highlight: Final-episode sketches feature hilarious old friends and new (demented diva Mindy Elise Grayson; horny, hydrocephalic Dooneese Maharelle; the lead ingenue in plosive-free soap “The Californians”). But it’s the warm, tearful “Ruby Tuesday” send-off from Mick Jagger and company that goes viral. Her departure won’t easily be replaced.