"Nipples & Palm Trees" at least has the advantage of truth in advertising: Expect several nipples, some palm trees -- and plenty of rutting in cheap apartments in the City of Angels.

“Nipples & Palm Trees” at least has the advantage of truth in advertising: Expect several nipples, some palm trees — and plenty of rutting in cheap apartments in the City of Angels. Expect little else, however, as director-editor-producer Dylan Reynolds and writer-producer-star Matt James concoct a little slice of trash about a sad-sack artist who claims he wants to find love, but finds nothing in Los Angeles but a parade of sex-crazed women. Brief theatrical window will give way to decent VOD clicks from bedroom viewers looking for kicks.

Jackson (James) is a hangdog of a dude on the prowl for women when he’s not pining for on-and-off g.f. Harmony (Sadie Katz), who isn’t ready to settle down. His paintings are basically pop-colored porn, yet somehow they’re not selling, so he holds down a lousy customer-service job with talkative Phil (Aki Kitamura). Harmony being AWOL, Jackson arranges or ends up with gals at night who prove more sexually athletic and adventurous than he is. This should elicit comedy, but the shoddy staging, lensing and (especially) thesping makes everything go limp. Reynolds’ attempts at nouvelle vague-style jump-cutting are arch.

Nipples & Palm Trees

Production

A Cinema Epoch release of a Jackson County Films production. Produced by Matt James, Dylan Reynolds, Vanessa Rose Parker. Directed by Dylan Reynolds. Screenplay, Matt James.

Crew

Camera (color, B&W, DV), Matt Gulley; editor, Reynolds. Reviewed on DVD, Los Angeles, July 11, 2012. Running time: 89 MIN.

With

Matt James, Sadie Katz, Aki Kitamura, Dallas Malloy, Vanessa Rose Parker, Cary Thompson, Will Morales, Jackie Kamm.

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