'D'Agostino'

Likely to frustrate gay and sci-fi auds, or indeed anyone with an interest in coherent storytelling, multihyphenate Jorge Ameer's "D'Agostino" is so aimless and shapeless, one might guess its real purpose was as a tax writeoff for a Greek vacation.

Likely to frustrate gay and sci-fi auds, or indeed anyone with an interest in coherent storytelling, multihyphenate Jorge Ameer’s “D’Agostino” is so aimless and shapeless, one might guess its real purpose was as a tax writeoff for a Greek vacation. The tale of a kinda-sorta erotic relationship between a London man and the human clone he just happens to discover, this whatsit would be good for some unkind laughs if it weren’t so paralyzingly dull. Four-wall showcase on a single Los Angeles screen starting today (along with the helmer’s “Dark Side of Love”) is unlikely to attract further offers.

Admitted misanthrope and narcissist Alan (Keith Roenke) is a Fortune 500 exec with an unhappy live-in g.f. (Torie Tyson). When his grandmother leaves him property in Greece, he flies over to investigate, and finds a feral man (Michael Angels) on the premises; a cursory Internet search somehow reveals that this is D’Agostino, an Italian-made clone lost at sea en route to an organ-harvesting operation in America. Alan decides to keep this “pet,” whom he trains in dog-like fashion and with whom he gets naked, but not sexual. Their odd master/slave, Pygmalion/Galatea dynamic goes nowhere until a ridiculous horror ending.

As usual, Ameer seems unencumbered by the niceties of plot/character and logic; there is undoubtedly some allegorical intent here, but “D’Agostino” is as unable to articulate that as it is anything else. It is frequently hard to believe there was an actual shooting script, as the pic basically consists of formless, improvised-looking sequences, padded out with tourist shots of the attractive Grecian surroundings.

Those locations (lensed by d.p. Zach Voytas) are by far the most pro element. Elsewhere, assembly is as usual with the helmer, which is to say pretty random, though the low-res screener supplied for review made it hard to judge tech contributions. Given almost nothing to work with, the lead thesps somehow manage to keep their heads above water, at least until the embarrassing fadeout.

D'Agostino

U.S.-Greece

Production

A Hollywood Independents (in U.S.) release of an A.J. Prods. production in association with Kavalari and Mama's House. Produced by Jorge Ameer, Zach Voytas, James Vegas. Executive producers, Ameer, Fanis Kavalari, Thomas Likourinos, Irini Liourino. Directed, written by Jorge Ameer.

Crew

Camera (color, HD), Zach Voytas; editors, Ameer, Voytas; music, Brent J. Dickey, Keith Roenke, Chris Tart, Voytas; sound, Jerry Deaton, Audiokut. Reviewed on DVD, San Francisco, June 19, 2012. Running time: 117 MIN.

With

Keith Roenke, Michael Angels, Torie Tyson, Jorge Ameer, Angus Malcolm. (English dialogue)
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