The joke’s on them: Sample salvos from top club comics

The Comedy Awards 2012

A sampling of the material that led to the nominations at the Comedy Awards for top club comic:

Ted Alexandro
Know him from: Two half-hour specials on Comedy Central, “Louie”
Sample funny: “I’m 42 years old. I’m single, never married, no kids. I did it.”

 

 

Hannibal Buress
Know him from: “30 Rock,” “Saturday Night Live,” upcoming series on Adult Swim with Eric Andre
Sample funny: “When people are going through something in life, they get really cliche and say stuff like, ‘I’m taking it one day at a time.’ You know who else is? Everybody, because that’s how time works.”

 

 

Pete Holmes
Know him from: Host of “You Made It Weird” podcast, writer for “I Hate My Teenage Daughter
Sample funny: “I’m 32 years old. I don’t have any kids, but I’m already like a fun dad. On a fishing trip, I’d let a kid try beer. Not even my kid, just like, ‘I’d rather you do it with me.'”

 

 

Anthony Jeselnik
Know him from: Comedy Central’s roasts of Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen
Sample funny: “My girlfriend complained the other day that chivalry is dead. I said, “No baby, chivalry is alive and well. You’re thinking of your mother.'”

 

 

Moshe Kasher
Know him from: John Oliver’s “New York Stand-Up Special,” “Shameless,” and the memoir “Kasher in the Rye: The True Tale of a White Boy From Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient and Then Turned 16.”
Sample funny: “California recently tried to legalize marijuana completely. But it did not pass, because the Xbox doesn’t have a ‘Vote Here’ function.”

 

 

John Mulaney
Know him from: “Saturday Night Live” writer, recent album “New in Town”
Sample funny: “I got a massage recently, and the woman giving me the massage told me to undress to my comfort level. So I put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants. And I felt safe.”

 

 

Kumail Nanjiani
Know him from: “Franklin & Bash,” “Michael & Michael Have Issues,” co-host of “Indoor Kids” podcast
Sample funny: “I was talking to someone about the gender inequality in Saudi Arabia, and he said, ‘It’s not their fault, Kumail: The Koran says woman can’t drive.’ Pretty sure the Koran never said that, because if it had said women can’t drive cars — 1,400 years ago — I’d be at the mosque right now.”

 

 

Chelsea Peretti
Know her from: Writing for “Parks and Recreation,” “The Sarah Silverman Program”
Sample funny: “I like to be dead silent during sex. That’s sort of my comfort zone. But every once in a while I will be like, ‘Thank you for dinner.’ “

 

 

Amy Schumer
Know her from:Last Comic Standing,” “Delocated,” “Price Check”
Sample funny: “I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating. He was like, ‘Are you mad?’ I said, ‘No, but you seem to be. Does it owe you money?’ “

 

 

Rory Scovel
Know him from: Last year’s album “Dilation”
Sample funny: “The reaction you have when you’re out with your new girlfriend and you run into your ex-girlfriend is the same reaction you have when you realize you’re gonna have to shit at a gas station.”

 

 

The Comedy Awards 2012
All yuks, no filler | Offshoot honors elicit mixed views | The joke’s on them

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