Sheen rages about the obvious: Lorre, ‘Men’ are moving on

The ongoing denials from Warner Bros. TV that Charlie Sheen could still return to “Two and a Half Men” — denials underscored by the fact that a revamp of the show has been in discussion for some time now — seem ever so validated today.

After dialing down his rhetoric against “Men” producer Chuck Lorre in recent weeks, Sheen exploded anew today, sending a public letter to TMZ that scorches the earth once more. It begins:

MY fans may tune in for a minute, but at the end of the day, no one cares about your feeble show without me. Shame on you. Not even a phone call to the man that put you on the map. The man that put 500 million dollars in your pockets. You were on your way out of Warner Bros. with a buy out and a cup of cold coffee in your shaky and clammy hands. And then I walked into your office. And you created a show BASED ON MY AWESOME LIFE. I busted my ass for 8 years to support your vision. Your dream. In turn, it is my nightmare. You sad silly fool. …

That’s the nice part.

After continuing his tirade Sheen goes on to mock the performance of “Men” since its departure, citing a 2.0 rating in the adults 18-49 demo for its most recent broadcast, a repeat on April 18 that drew 7.4 million viewers overall. For comparison’s sake, an April 19, 2010 rerun of “Men” drew a 3.8 rating in the demo and 11.4 million viewers total. So there has been a decline, although I’m a bit puzzled by the causality issue: Sheen appears in both episodes.

Is Sheen arguing that the fans are boycotting the show, or that they just assume he’s been wiped out of the reruns and aren’t tuning in? Either way, the audience of “Men” may never be the same again. But then again, neither will anyone’s opinion of Sheen.

Meanwhile, here’s Lorre’s latest vanity card, appearing at the end of  “The Big Bang Theory” on Thursday.

Thanks to the magic of computer graphics, the monkey in tonight’s episode was not actually smoking a cigarette, nor was he ever exposed to secondhand smoke. At all times, every effort was made to make the monkey feel happy and safe. Nevertheless, he proved impossible to work with. During the week of production his behavior became increasingly erratic, to the point of refusing to come out of his trailer to rehearse. It wasn’t until after we finished filming his scenes that we learned why. The monkey is a heroin addict. Yes, hard as it may be to believe, the monkey had a monkey on his back. Thankfully, an intervention was staged by the Geico lizard and he is now going through detox and a twelve step program at the Bonzo Center in Palm Springs. Everyone at The Big Bang Theory wishes him well.


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