Hollywood needs sip of Joe-biz

Bring on the shrine for box office bombs

Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall.

Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They include “Moose Murders” of 1983, “Breakfast at Tiffanys” from 1966 (it starred Mary Tyler Moore and Richard Chamberlain) and “Kelly” from 1965, which appropriately told the story of a man who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Customers of the latenight watering hole already are campaigning for “Spider-Man” to assume a place on the wall even though it’s still running, but Joe Allen is strict about his criteria.

Which Hollywood restaurant would qualify for a wall of movie infamy? Musso and Franks, perhaps the oldest in town, disdains posters — its well-aged bordello-style wallpaper is itself historic. The folks who own Nate ‘n Al’s are too rich to have a sense of humor. New haunts like Craig’s are too insecure about offending customers. Joe Allen, it seems, has nothing to worry about.

More Voices

  • Janet Mock Pose

    'Pose' Writer Janet Mock on Making History With Trans Storytelling (Guest Column)

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Tony Awards Sightlines Column

    How to Produce the Tony Awards: 5 Unsolicited Tips

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Under the Silver Lake

    Cannes 2018's Hidden Thrill: The Opportunity to Find New Voices

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Kathryn Bigelow Kathryn Bigelow poses backstage

    It's Time for Action, Not Promises, to Get More Women in Filmmaking (Guest Column)

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Netflix Cannes

    Cannes vs. Netflix Defines Fight for Cinema’s Future

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Love Never Dies - Utica, NY

    Could 'Love Never Dies' Live Again on Broadway?

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

  • Every Act of Life

    Tribeca Film Festival: 5 Titles to Watch for Theater Fans

    Munching a midnight hamburger at Joe Allen’s in New York the other night, I realized how badly Hollywood needs its own Joe Allen wall. Starting in the mid-1960s, the veteran restaurateur has faithfully assembled posters heralding Broadway’s biggest bombs. There they are, arrayed before you — much heralded shows that closed in one night. They […]

More From Our Brands

Access exclusive content